There are a million and one things that I wish someone had told me before I became an "adult". Not that at age 19 you can really consider someone an adult, but since technicality is part of the term, I guess we could say that I've been an adult for over a year now. But if thats so, why do I still feel twelve? Here is a bit of advice I would give to the next person to become a "legal adult" and hope that they at least got a bit more of a warning than I did.
1. When you go to college, life at home doesn't stop and wait.
I went to college in August and by October my parents had sold my lifelong home and moved across the country; away from everything I've ever known and away from everything I was excited to return to. It feels like just as soon as you use your wings and fly away, you hit a window and start falling without any control or direction; simply free-falling (however, it is completely acceptable to sing the song by Tom Petty about free fallin' because it always helps to burst into song when life gets rough).
2. Remember your friends.
It's easy to go to college and make new friends, and it is strongly encouraged. But don't forget about the people that helped make you the person you are today. The friends back home have had your back since day one and any friend you meet in college will never be able to replace that friendly face from home. Don't be afraid to call them in the middle of the night to tell them that you miss them, or want to see what they're doing. Chances are they miss you equally as much and want to reach out to you too but don't want to interrupt your new life. But hey, someone has to make the first move, right?
3. At this age, nothing is permanent.
Except for tattoos... but remember that a tattoo might be more permanent than you think. Are you really going to want to show your grandkids that pot leaf on your left butt cheek when you're a 87-year-old grandmother? Probably not. What seems like a good idea right now might not be the best idea when you're older. Remember that as you age, so do your preferences and maybe marking your body isn't the best way to find permanence in this constantly changing time period.
Also, that boy that seemed to make the sun rise and set may not stay in your life forever, despite what all of those late-night text messages may have said. He is going to move on his life and discover the person that he wants to be, just like you are going to and you can't change if you're holding on to the past. Change isn't easy and its going to hurt but just like a boyfriend, a hangover, or a broken bone, the pain of heartbreak is temporary and it won't last forever.
4. Heartbreak is the worst pain you'll ever feel.
Just to be clear, I haven't given birth so I can't say that it's worse than that pain. However, I have broken bones and been bullied but nothing has come close to the overwhelming, chest-clenching, sinking-feeling of heartbreak. You'll be able to imagine your heart dying and becoming blackened and lifeless, you'll be able to feel each individual shard as it sinks to your stomach and it won't go away. I promise that you're not the first one to feel that pain. You'll believe that nobody has felt that kind of pain before because your relationship was different from everybody else's; and you're right about that but we all have felt that pain.
I'm not going to tell you that you need to suck it up and move on and burn his sweatshirt or the teddybear that he gave you because it will probably make you hurt more. But remember time heals everything (I know, cliche, but it's true). It won't be fast and it won't be easy and for a while you won't be able to let anybody into your heart because it will be too broken to take on anything more. Just give yourself time to heal. In my opinion, this is one of the hardest parts in life and there is nothing that anybody could say to make the pain go away. Sometimes all you can do is take care of yourself.
5. Close your eyes and just jump!
We're young! There is no use in getting wrinkles now, stop worrying about everything. This is the best time to make mistakes because they won't affect the rest of our lives drastically. Get lost in a city with your friends, jump off a cliff into cold water, try something new, fail an exam, go to the clubs with your friends. This is the time to learn and experience life around you, not to worry about all of the "what-ifs" in life. Thats what old age is for and just like you weren't ready to be an adult now, you're not gonna be ready to be in your mid-forties either. Seize the day and make the most of the moments before they're gone.
Take this skeleton and add to it as you progress through your own life, remember there are no wrong answers and it is only a mistake if you didn't learn from it. Don't be afraid to feel all of the emotion in life because while it may hurt, emotions are some of the most beautiful ways to experience life. Feel the fear and do it anyway, feel the love and lose yourself in it, feel the heartbreak and find yourself again, feel the stress and power through it, feel your youth and enjoy it.
