A couple of days ago, I was reluctantly convinced by my friends to use Tinder. I had just moved into a new town, had few acquaintances and needed a fresh way to meet people (or so was the argument my friends used when getting me to agree to use Tinder). After creating an account, selecting some nice photos of me to impress the gentlemen callers in the area, I continued to use the app for a few days before coming up with a list of things you do when using Tinder.
1. Deciding which picture you should you use
The first and probably foremost thought in your mind when you first use Tinder is if your picture is good enough. Do you include pictures of you with other people in it? Pictures with the neighboring sex in it? All selfies? All silly pictures? You might be uploading, deleting and then reloading pictures for the next 20 minutes, but it's important to figure out which group of pictures will complement each other. For example, having a selfie here, a group photo there and then one silly one so users think you know how to have fun.
2. Finding cute people to swipe right for
Now the fun part — going through the photos and deciding if you like the person you're looking at and if you should give them a like (or in the rare cases a superlike!). You click on their photo, look through their other photos and then read their bio to make sure they seem like a sane human being.
3. Swiping past the creeps
Maybe it is because I live in Indiana, and it occasionally feels like I'm living 50 years in the past, but there have been some eccentric people I have come across in my area. Some include a bio having the phrase, "Full-Time Mommies who don't have Full-Time Jobbies, need not apply." "Tupac, Biggie, 420 friendly." "If your picture shows more cleavage than your face you're trash. Not 420 friendly... I'm not 16 anymore." I have also come across pictures of just bonfires, before and after weight-loss photos and just a picture of a guy's crotch. Nice. As much as coming across these people is disturbing, it is also equally entertaining because it makes you realize that people like this actually exist in the world. And then it makes you sad again because people like this actually exist in the world (and they're probably Trump supporters).
4. Getting a match.
The thrilling part of the whole ordeal! Getting a match is the biggest confidence booster you can ask for in an app that thrives on the fact that human beings are the shallowest race in the animal kingdom, relying on our ability to dictate finding a significant partner based on appearance alone (unless you receive a superlike, then you go girl). Finding a match makes you feel a little giddy and reaffirms your decision to download this app in the first place.
5. Getting a match (that you don't want)
Again, this app relies on matching you with someone based on their looks and not on their personality. Getting the opportunity to interact with a match will finally give you a clue as to what the person behind the picture really is like. You come across people just wanting hook up, horribly disturbing pickup lines, and even a gem who happens to be a 24-year-old father of a 3-year-old and 1-year-old. But you can just "unmatch," stop replying and move on to the next one.
At the end of the day, the best thing you can do when using this app is just laugh because there is no reason to take this app seriously. Besides, all you have to do it just swipe left, and you never have to see that person again.
