5 Lessons My Friends Relationships Taught Me

5 Lessons My Friends Relationships Taught Me

Here are the most important things I've learned from my friends relationships.

Ever since I can remember I have always been the friend that was single, while all my friends were in relationships. Although I was the one that wasn't in these relationships, I learned so much from the relationships my friends have been in. Here are some of the things I have learned from my friends' relationship.

1. Third Wheeling Sucks.

My friends always ask me to tag along with them and their boyfriends. It's annoying and I hate it so much, but I love my friends so I do it anyway. It doesn't matter how close you and your friend are, third wheeling with her and her boyfriend isn't fun in any circumstance.

2. Focus.

With my friends being in a relationship, I truly realized how much focus I have on myself; I sometimes think I'm conceited. One time, my friend was telling me about her dream and stopped herself, retold the story but this new story included less of her dreams and more of her boyfriend’s dreams. When I think about my dreams and what I want to do in life, it’s just me. My dreams include the things I want to achieve and aren’t compromised. My friend taught me that I don’t want to do anything at the moment, but focus on myself.

3. My Parents Rock.

Being in a serious relationship means that you have to meet the parents. I have heard nightmare stories about the parents my friends have had to meet and it just makes me love my parents that much more. My friend once told me that her boyfriend’s mother called her to go pick up his sister from school then take her home. My friend decided to take his sister for some frozen yogurt, and then was yelled at by his mother because it was inappropriate to have dessert before dinner. They had frozen yogurt at 3:30pm and they didn’t eat dinner until 6:30pm. When she told me this story I learned very quickly, that my parents are amazing.

4. Boys Are Literal.

I have learned from all of my friends relationships that boys are very simple creatures. With that being said, keep things simple. It amazes me how my friends will not talk to their boyfriends to show them their mad and it will take their boyfriends forever to realize that they are even mad. But the minute my friends tell their boyfriends “I’m mad” they are quickly trying to resolve any issue they created. Being upfront with guys instead of beating around the bush is always the way to go anytime a guy is involved. Trust me, I think that this is one of the most beneficial things I’ve learned from my friends relationships.

5. I’m Irreplaceable.

No matter how in love my friends are with their boyfriends I know they love me even more. Two of my friends have long distance relationships and don’t get to see their boyfriends often and when they do I always give them space, but the minute they say goodbye to their boyfriends they always come to see me or text me and tell me that they missed me, which means the world to me. Knowing that my friends are with the person they are absolutely head over heels for, but still value my friendship is the best feeling. At the end of the day, every girl needs her best friend, and I’m truly happy to be that friend.

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I'm The Customer That Doesn't Always Tip 20 Percent

I can be your best friend or your worst nightmare, but it depends on YOU.

As a server, I fully understand that myself, and others like me, make a living off of our tips.

I know how nice it is to get a $50 tip and how frustrating it is to get merely change when you did everything you could to make the unpleasable table happy. I am well aware that an acceptable tip is anywhere from 15-20% and I typically tip way over that.
However, I can easily say that there have been times where I have tipped anywhere from 5-15%. In these times, the tip was well deserved...or not deserved.

As before mentioned, I am a server, bartender, and part-time restaurant manager. It is safe to say that I know the business quite well. This makes me aware of the tipping process and what is deemed acceptable, but it also makes me aware of what a serving job entails. We are, without a doubt, the worst critics when we are out to eat. We noticed everything you did or didn't do and we timed how long it took to get our drinks -- it's just in our blood.

We also notice if you are genuinely good at your job, or if you are just there to be there.

The key point to any serving job is knowledge. I, as a customer, expect you to be able to answer almost all of my questions. If I ask you something absurd like "exactly where was your lettuce grown?" ....Like what the f****? Who knows that? But when I ask what beers you have on draft, or what all comes on a salad, I expect you to know it. If you don't, I dock it off your tip. No, it's not mean, it's you not holding up your end of the deal when you started this job.

I know that sometimes you get busy and it's hard to cater to someone's every need, but I do expect my refills in a timely manner and would also expect you to check back with me shortly after I get my food to make sure everything tastes good. I feel like that all is just common sense. If I have to wait for five minutes with an empty glass before I even have the chance to call you over, that's going to affect your tip. If you never check up on me after I get my food, guess what, I take it off your tip. If something goes wrong in the kitchen or you forgot to put my order in, do not avoid me. Tell me. I know how hard it is to tell a table that you are the one who screwed up their experience, but it is so much better to be honest and shows more about your integrity than by saying, "I don't know, the kitchen lost your ticket. There was a computer malfunction and then things caught fire. The firemen had to come and put it out, and then they found your ticket under the smoldering embers...so that's why your steak is five minutes late.".... Just tell me you got busy and it slipped your mind. I'm okay with that.

The worst one to me is when I see my server on her phone. I know that today's generation has some need to be in contact with everyone 24/7 and I have learned to accept that. But when I need something at my table, and you fail to notice because your girl friend just broke up with her boyfriend who cheated on her with his supposed best friend...I'm not going to be happy. You are here to work and this is your job. And, not to be conceded, but I come first. I am the one paying the bill that allows you to keep that phone your on in service, so make sure that I am happy before Samantha can't call you the next time shit hits the fan with Andrew. It's common sense.

Despite all of these, probably the number one thing I look for in a server is a positive attitude. We all have our own lives outside of work, and not to be cold, but I don't really care about yours. I am here for a nice dinner and a night out to not worry about my own crazy life let alone wonder about yours. As soon as you walk into work, the outside world needs to stay there. Do not be in a terrible mood because your girlfriend is psycho. Do not show the customer that you simply don't want to be at work. You don't want to be -- I don't tip you. Easy as that. If you engage in even a small conversation with me, I will tip you more than expected. I am extremely easy to please and really understanding.

I know that every place is different and every store/restaurant has different standards, but I the guest-service industry all lies on the same guidelines. The number one rule is to make the guest happy. I am not that guest who asks for the world from my server. Nor am I that guest who doesn't tip my server if my food came out overcooked or doesn't taste good. I know what lies on the server and what lies in other areas of the store. I know what they can and can't control.
As a customer, I can be your best or your worst, but that all lies on the service that I receive from YOU.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia

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Pho Fixes Everything

A bowl a pho keeps everything bad away.


Pho might just be the best thing my taste buds have ever endured. If you haven't had pho, you're missing out. It's a Vietnamese soup, but it's not just any soup; it's the soup to my heart.

And no, this is not like ramen. It makes ramen look like random noodles in a bowl of water….yeah I know that's basically what it is, but you get the point.

Pho helps with everything. Having a bad day? Pho. Want to have 2 meals, one here and one to go? Pho. Bad break up? Pho. Need some emotional support? PHO IT UP.

Best part, there are so many options for pho. If you're vegetarian, no worries, there's pho for you. If you don't like spice, no worries! There's pho for you! If you love different kinds of meats… THERE'S PHO FOR YOU.

Please, everyone, just go get a bowl of pho and be happy. Doesn't matter if it's 100 degrees out or -13, pho is still amazing. You won't regret it.

Not going to lie, I'm craving it just from typing this.

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