My 5 Least Favorite Christmas Songs

My 5 Least Favorite Christmas Songs

Drunken Grandmas and Ambiguous Voices Make Me Cringe

Before I present my list of favorite Christmas songs, I thought I’d get the terrible ones over first. I chose these songs based on my own personal opinions about music, lyrics, and themes, and I’m sure you all might disagree. The good thing is, these are probably the only Christmas songs I really dislike—it was hard to come up with more than five. My list of favorites is much longer, which is encouraging. Christmas songs really do come in great variety, and many are very good.

That being said, some are very bad. Here, in no particular order, are my top five least favorite Christmas songs:

1. “Where Are You Christmas?” by Faith Hill

At one time I liked this song. I was younger and beginning to view Christmas differently—feeling alienated from it and from the joy that it had brought in previous years—and I heard myself reflected in this song. (More about this transition in a later article.)

But once I began to appreciate Christmas for something more (i.e., have a more “adult” view of the holiday), I hated this song. And I still do. I can’t put my finger on it exactly. The song has a nice message, and ends on a (relatively) happy note. Still, it makes me incredibly sad, perhaps because of what I associate it with (the death of childhood). It reminds of pain I already felt, no longer feel, and don’t want to feel again. In real life the death of childhood is not so sad, because what replaces it is even sweeter. But in my mind (and in this song), where that death has become nostalgic and romanticized, it is extremely painful. So every time I hear the beginning violin strains of “Where Are You Christmas?” I cringe and immediately change the station.

2. “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy

In contrast, I’ve never liked this song. On some superficial level it is funny, I’ll admit that. But it’s really sad, and disturbing, and just—weird. I’m not a fan of the voices, of the strange cheesiness of the song, or of the creepy, unpredictable, blue-and-silver world which it creates. (Who wears a blue-and-silver wig anyway?) True, real life is unpredictable, but in this world, Grandma gets wasted, on eggnog no less. That just shouldn’t be.

Plus—no offense to the artists—the name Elmo disturbs me.

The entire song simply bothers me, and although I can forced myself to listen to it all the way through, doing so is always a struggle.

3. “Little Drummer Boy” by Wayne Newton

I had a very hard time picking between this one and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” Actually, I had a hard time picking only one Wayne Newton Christmas song to put on this list. I guess the problem is that I really don’t like Wayne Newton (as a singer—he seems like a nice guy). It’s his voice. I’ve spend too many minutes (yes, actual minutes) pondering why his voice bothers me so much, and all I can say for sure is that it’s undeniably feminine. Of course, many men sing with a lot of vibrato, and many men sing falsetto ranges. But The Bee Gees, or Robert Plant, are clearly men when they sing. Even with vibrato they sound like men. But every time I hear Newton, for a split second I think, “What a nice woman.” And then I realize it isn’t a woman, and I’m disturbed all over again.

4. “Last Christmas” by Wham

I don’t mean to offend, but if you actually like this song there’s something wrong with you. (I’m mostly kidding, but if you like this song, please shoot me a message telling me why.) This is a completely unnecessary Christmas song. There’s a reason Christmas songs are different than regular songs: they’re about a season, a holiday, being together with family, and yes, your significant other; but they’re generally not about losing love on Christmas. Christmas is a happy time, not a sad time. Furthermore, Christmas songs are generally not about romantic love at all. And that’s what precisely bothers me about this song: besides the fact that the speaker gave his heart away on Christmas, the song has nothing at all to do with the holiday. None. It’s a plain romance. It should just be a regular pop song.

However, recently this version of the song has been somewhat elevated in my eyes because of the multiple hideous covers played of it. If you’re going to cover a song like this, please do a better version than the original. As it is, George Michael clearly sings this song better than anyone else has.

5. “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” by Thurl Ravenscroft

I’m not criticizing the show, only the song (although the show is not one of my favorite Christmas shows, either). This song completely goes against the “Christmas spirit,” whatever that is. If there is such a thing, though (and I think there is), it does seem to be about joy and peace and gratitude—and that, combined with whose birthday Christmas is, makes it clear that “Mr. Grinch” in no way fits with the holiday. The song is all about how horrible a person (or Grinch) is. There is absolutely no mercy in it; the song makes a big deal about rejecting the Grinch every time he is compared to something else despicable. There is no love here; no forgiveness.

Of course, the show does reveal Mr. Grinch’s change of heart, and I think that calls for a song too, certainly more than the Grinch’s formerly bad attitude calls for one. Someone ought to write a song called “You’re a Changed One, Mr. Grinch,” or something like that. No one should go around singing gleefully about how mean and nasty anyone is.

I have to wonder who decided the name “Thurl” was a good name.

I'll get off my soapbox now. Coming up soon will be my (much bigger) list of favorite Christmas songs. Stay tuned.

Cover Image Credit: The Polka Dot Chair

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Please Spare Me From The Three Months Of Summer Break When People Revert Back To High Schoolers

They look forward to swapping stories with their friends at the local diner, walking around their old high school with a weird sense of superiority, and reminiscing their pre-college lives.


I know a surprising amount of people who actually couldn't wait to go home for the summer. They look forward to swapping stories with their friends at the local diner, walking around their old high school with a weird sense of superiority, and reminiscing their pre-college lives.

Me? Not so much. I don't mean to sound bitter. It's probably really comforting to return to a town where everyone knows your name, where your younger friends want you around to do their prom makeup, and where you can walk through Target without hiding in the deodorant aisle. But because I did this really annoying thing where my personality didn't really develop and my social anxiety didn't really loosen its grip on me until college, I have a very limited number of people to return to.

If you asked someone from my high school about Julia Bond, they would probably describe her as shy, studious, and uptight. I distinctly remember being afraid of people who JUULed (did you get high from it? was it illegal? could I secondhand smoke it and get lung cancer?) and crying over Algebra 1 in study hall (because nothing says fun and friendly like mascara steaks and furious scribbling in the back corner while everyone else throws paper airplanes and plays PubG Mobile).

I like to tell my college friends that if I met High School Julia, I would beat her up. I would like to think I could, even though I go to the gym now a third of the time I did then. It's not that it was High School Julia's fault that she closed herself off to everyone. She had a crippling fear of getting a B and an even worse fear of other people. But because she was so introverted and scared, College Julia has nothing to do but re-watch "The Office" for the 23rd time when she comes back.

Part of me is jealous of the people who came into their own before college. I see pictures of the same big friend groups I envied from a distance in high school, all their smiling faces at each other's college football games and pool parties and beach trips, and it makes me sad that I missed out on so many friendships because I was too scared to put myself out there. That part of me really, really wishes I had done things differently.

But a bigger, more confident part of me is really glad I had that experience. Foremost, everything I've gone through has shaped me. I mean, I hid in the freaking bathroom during lunch for the first two weeks of my freshman year of high school. I never got up to sharpen my pencil because I was scared people would talk about me. I couldn't even eat in front of people because I was so overwhelmingly self-conscious. I remember getting so sick at cross country practice because I ran four or five miles on an empty stomach.

Now, I look back and cringe at the ridiculousness because I've grown so much since then. Sure, I still have my quirks and I'm sure a year from now I'll write an article about what a weirdo Freshman Julia was. But I can tell who had the same experience as me. I can tell who was lonely in high school because they talk to the kids on my floor that study by themselves. I can tell who was afraid of speaking up because they listen so well. I can tell who was without a friend group because they stand by me when others don't. I can tell who hated high school, because it's obvious that they've never been as happy as they are now.

My dislike for high school, while inconvenient for this summer, might be one of the best things to happen to me. I learned how to overcome my fears, how to be independent, and how to make myself happy. I never belonged in high school, and that's why I will never take for granted where I belong here at Rutgers.

So maybe I don't have any prom pictures with a bunch of colorful dresses in a row, and maybe I didn't go to as many football games as I should have. Maybe I would've liked pep rallies, and maybe I missed out on senior week at the beach. But if I had experienced high school differently, I wouldn't be who I am today.

I wouldn't pinch myself daily because I still can't believe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I wouldn't smile so hard every time I come back from class and hear my floormates calling me from the lounge.

I wouldn't well up when my roommate leaves Famous Amos cookies on my desk before a midterm, or know how to help the girl having a panic attack next to me before a final, or hear my mom tell my dad she's never seen me this happy before.

If I had loved high school, I wouldn't realize how amazing I have it in college. So amazing, in fact, that I never want to go home.

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I'm Keeping My Christmas Tree Up All Winter And There's Nothing You Can Do About It

It's the WINTER Season... ;-)


I think that my tree would not be considered Christmas-y if the ornaments are taken off and the lights are kept on. I think to just looks wintry. I am also keeping up decorations that say "let it snow", and I am keeping up any snowman without holly berries or presents in their hands.

The tree looks wintry in my opinion. It looks pretty with the lights and brings the room together. It gives off a warm ambiance, unlike that of fluorescent lighting.

I've taken all ornaments off except for gold snowflakes and I've left the silver tinsel garland on as well as the lights. It looks wintry to me still. I will probably be taking the whole tree down by the end of this month to prepare for Valentine's Day decorating. (Yes, I pretty much decorate my apartment for every holiday—sue me).

There's nothing like coming downstairs and seeing those lights sparkling.

Or coming inside from a dreary, rainy day outside and seeing them light up the room in a calm, warm, and comforting glow.

Or having a bad day, looking up, and seeing them shine.

It sort of makes me upset when I come downstairs and see that someone has unplugged them, to be honest.

I guess they don't see it as I do.

Pretty, twinkling lights forever!

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