Hello, Mom. Hello, Dad. I know you are both probably reading this, but don’t worry, it’s fairly positive, and if you don’t agree with the negative parts then you have been very narrow-minded the past 14 or so odd years.
Every child, every person deals with divorce differently. I was just four years old when my parents separated. And let me tell you it was not easy. Being that young you don't really know what is going on, why mom and dad are fighting, and why one is moving out. You hear different things from each side of the family not knowing what to believe. My friends were not able to understand, and there were not able to understand anything I was going through. They did not understand that I was surrounded by all these happy families, while my own family was falling apart. I could not help but question what had happened to my family. My family had years of sadness and anger. Eventually, it got better. But it has never been easy.
1. Children are used as messengers:
Divorced parents who rarely take to each other unless there is an emergency are the worst. This means the kids often times have to be the messenger and give the parent the message to the other and vice versa. This is not okay because now the parents are acting like children, and the kids don't need to be in the middle of it.
2. It is possible to grow up too quickly:
When parents my parents got divorced, I was barely able to understand what was going on, but I had to learn and get used to it. I knew things would never go back to "normal." My world was different, it was unrecognizable. I'm still trying to figure it out piece-by-piece.
3. Nothing is simple:
I could elaborate on this for days. When people ask about your life you just say "it's complicated." You go see one parent and that starts a fighting match, that no one wins.
4. Love isn't always enough:
Divorce for me was something I didn't fully understand yet. Couldn't understand what was happening, the fighting, the going back and forth, the moving around. But now I realize that love is powerful, but is not enough, without trust, honesty, commitment; love can not function at its highest potential.
5. Divorce has taught me to be a better daughter:
I appreciate my parents and the things they have done for me. I see how hard they work to make my sister and I happy, never really taking time for themselves.
The divorce made me grow up and face the harsh realities of life a little earlier than most people had to. I believe in the strength within all of us, "children of divorce"; that we are not broken.
