While the "doorbuster" and Black-Friday-month-long deals flood our television screens and social media feed, most of us still find ourselves racking our brains for the perfect gifts for our loved ones. I think that even though there's an abundance of excitement and joy surrounding the holiday season, there's also an equal amount of dread on picking out the best gifts. I also think that gift giving doesn't have to be such a complex process; nor does it have to be confined to one month out of the year.
I think the materialistic bombardment of the holiday season has clouded our minds from perceiving the value in life's most simple, yet powerful, gifts. The additional beauty of these gifts is that they're unlimited and truly the "gifts that keep on giving." Moreover, our capacity to listen intently, be patient, spread kindness, dole out compliments, and invest quality time into our family and friends make for the best gifts we can give to each other.
Listening
I don't necessarily think listening, like the really paying close attention kind of listening, is something humans are naturally good at. Sure, some people are described as "good listeners," but I think that's a result of conscious practice. Often times, we may find ourselves being called upon by a family member or friend who just needs an open-ear. That's it. They just need us to be present and hear what they need to say. I've heard it expressed that we, in general, don't listen to hear, "we listen to respond." And while replying is not the problem, sometimes we don't need to. Sometimes, our loved one just wants to get things off his or her chest to someone else, instead of keeping it to him or herself. Although listening may not seem like a profound gift, it can be a great relief to the person who's asked you to be there.
Patience
Probably the most difficult gift to give, and one that doesn't seem like much of a gift, is patience. However, because patience is often in very short supply, making an extra effort to be patient with your loved ones is a great gift. We all know that our family can get on our nerves from time to time or fall short of the expectations we've set for them. The truth is, though, that we've all found ourselves in this position before. Without a doubt, there have been times when we hoped people would be understanding of our shortcomings. That being said, what better way to express our love towards our family than to take a breath and extend our patience?
Kindness
Kindness, it's one of the easiest gifts of all to give. In a world full of toxic Internet culture and less-than-favorable news updates, kindness is the ray of hope. It's the glue that can bind us together in our trying, divisive times. In a conversation with the Dalai Lama surrounding kindness, beloved singer and actress Lady Gaga gave a thought-provoking sentiment about it as she said, "We are unified in our humanity. And the only thing that we all know — we all appreciate in one another — is kindness." The power to be kind is an ability everyone is capable of. Everybody has the capacity for kindness. Even though we are not always in a position to want to show kindness, we always have the potential to. I think one of the greatest aspects of showing kindness is that it can be done so effortlessly. You can build up your loved ones in numerous ways, and you never know just how much they might've needed it. We all hit rough patches, some of us more often than others, but kindness is a free antidote to life's struggles.
Compliments
Another simple, yet powerful, gift is the gift of complimenting. However, I don't really mean surface-level, throwaway compliments. For the record, I think it's nice to let people know how fabulous you think their shoes are or how you think that shade of lipstick looks great on them, but those aren't very personal compliments. Real, meaningful compliments should speak to that person's skills and talents, or qualities, or admirable endeavors. Noticing small things about people can leave a much more lasting impact. Getting creative with your compliments not only allows you to acknowledge positive things about your loved ones, but it may also bring you closer to them or strengthen your bond. I also think there's a lot of truth to the idea that making others feel good about themselves, in turn, makes you feel better about your own self.
Quality Time
Time is probably one of the most precious commodities we have. As we speed through the weeks and months of our overcrowded schedules, we often fail to make enough time to enjoy our family and friends. Finding a balance amongst work, school, sleeping, exercising, socializing, and whatever else can be tricky. While our time is often booked up, it's important to use some of that precious time for the people we love. We can never know how much time we'll actually have with them, so why squander away the opportunity to be with them while we can? Carving out even a little bit of extra time to spend with a best friend or sibling can not only be a gift to them, but also for you.
In just the short time I've been home for Christmas break, I've been able to witness the precious value of these intangible gifts. The enthralling newness of tech gadgets and makeup palettes pale in comparison to the lasting impact of these five gifts. It's like the great author and poet Maya Angelou famously said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Of course, the things we do for and say to our loved ones make the initial impact, but it's the feeling that carries on long after. The feeling of being thoughtfully and wholly loved is probably one of the best human experiences. I hope everyone remembers that not only for this holiday season but also for the rest of the year.
