Everyone makes the holiday season to be some kind of time of overwhelming peace and happiness, as though every moment in December is spent ice skating with friends or eating copious amounts of food with your family. No one wants to talk about the utter stress that comes with the beginning of the season; the hellish part that needs to get done before you can go see your friends and family- holiday shopping.
1. You're always starting late
For some reason, it just doesn't kick in how close the holidays are until they're right there. The holidays always seem like a vague concept in time and space; it's all hypothetical. You've still got like two weeks, it's going to be fine, you tell yourself...right up until Secret Santa is tomorrow and you have work all day and no time to stop by the store for the last minute hastily thrown together gift.
2. No idea who you're shopping for
The gift is always hastily thrown together just because when it comes down to gift giving, you suddenly have no idea who your friends and family are. Your best friend is at best an abstract concept. Yes, you've known her all your life and you know all her food allergies and the shape of the scar on her knee from when she fell off a scooter in middle school but what does she want for Christmas dammit??
3. Your bank account
It's so cute how you've been working overtime to make sure you can actually buy really nice gifts for everyone this season. It would be a shame if this sweater just happens to be twice as expensive as you expected, or if this promotion right here just happens to not apply to your purchase because of some fine print. Tragic. So sorry. (Please don't scream at the cashier if this happens, please please please.)
4. The crowd
It's like everyone waited for you to come out shopping so they could come out too. Nothing brings out your holiday spirit like being stuffed in a crowded mall with a billion suburban mothers looking for a gift for their mother-in-law. Move, Karen, and shut up your screaming 5-year-old.
