In case you were wondering, I actually do have a twitter. I was required to created one for my senior English class in high school, and I think I tweeted twice. I haven’t used it since, but if I did, these are some of the things that I would tweet (in no particular order).
- We went to a thrift store today and Jenny bought an exit sign to hang in our room. #roommategoals
- Jenny and I started listening to Christmas music on the exact same day without even realizing it. #roommategoals
- I accidentally ate a family size package of Oreos in three days.
- It’s not really the freshman fifteen anymore, it’s more like the junior thirty-five. #quotesbymack
- In an effort to put away some extra money, I have been saving $20 a month… except I missed the last ten months.
- I’m getting to that age where if I eat too many calories I have to take a nap.
- I’m not even kidding. If I get lunch at Culver’s I have to clear my afternoon.
- Me: I have to record all the Hallmark Christmas movies! Sis: they’re all the same Abby
- Me: I’m shook Sis: never say that again
- While I was babysitting I took a drink of water and a two y/o said “you’re very hydrated Abby” A FREAKING TWO YEAR OLD
- Guess who ate all the left over sweet potato soufflé #thisgirl #ilovesweetpotatoes
- I got tired of telling people I had surgery on my foot so I told my uncle I dropped a big jar of peanut butter on it. He believed me.
- Dad: can I watch something for once? Me: but it’s a “Suite Life on Deck” marathon
- I pay a squillion dollars to go to this school and they still can’t afford enough toilet paper
- Overheard in class: “if you added just a dollar to everyone’s tuition…” “you’d have like $1200” #juissmall
- Overheard in our hotel lobby: “ they have 21 forever and other stores like that”
- Me: so what have you been up to Grandma? Gma: I made a pillowcase yesterday Me: exciting
19. I nudged and I nudged but I couldn’t get my friends to build a fort in the lobby
20. *Opening Christmas presents* Sis: what dad really needs from Santa are hearing aids Dad: what’d she say?
21. Person *looks at my watch* How do you read that there’s no numbers on it
22. So I had a care package full of homemade cookies last night and when I woke up this morning there were only three left. The cookie culprit is yet to be found…
23. I found a creepy porcelain doll dressed for Mardi Gras and wrapped it up for a white elephant
24. We bought a new artificial Christmas tree this year and my dad had to get one with a remote
25. The lights on our Christmas tree have SEVEN FUNCTIONS. I repeat SEVEN FUNCTIONS
26. Dad: we can’t get a 12 foot Christmas tree, it won’t fit in the living room Me: Christmas is the season for miracles
27. Me: *turns up thermostat* *three days later* Dad: WHO TURNED UP THE THERMOSTAT?! Me: *side steps out of the room*
28. *watching home alone with four kids* Kid: Did you know that boy is like 45 now?
29. Kid: This movie takes place in the olden days Me: yeah 1990
30. *watching Home Alone 2* Kid: how come that doesn't look like Trump? Me: because that’s how he looked in the olden days
31. Me: decorating Christmas cookies relaxes me... Also Me: *stresses about the color of the icing*