31 Things I Would Tweet If I Actually Tweeted

31 Things I Would Tweet If I Actually Tweeted

If I'm not the only one that thinks these tweets are funny, maybe I'll activate my twitter!

In case you were wondering, I actually do have a twitter. I was required to created one for my senior English class in high school, and I think I tweeted twice. I haven’t used it since, but if I did, these are some of the things that I would tweet (in no particular order).

  1. We went to a thrift store today and Jenny bought an exit sign to hang in our room. #roommategoals
  2. Jenny and I started listening to Christmas music on the exact same day without even realizing it. #roommategoals
  3. I accidentally ate a family size package of Oreos in three days.
  4. It’s not really the freshman fifteen anymore, it’s more like the junior thirty-five. #quotesbymack
  5. In an effort to put away some extra money, I have been saving $20 a month… except I missed the last ten months.
  6. I’m getting to that age where if I eat too many calories I have to take a nap.
  7. I’m not even kidding. If I get lunch at Culver’s I have to clear my afternoon.
  8. Me: I have to record all the Hallmark Christmas movies! Sis: they’re all the same Abby
  9. Me: I’m shook Sis: never say that again
  10. While I was babysitting I took a drink of water and a two y/o said “you’re very hydrated Abby” A FREAKING TWO YEAR OLD
  11. Guess who ate all the left over sweet potato soufflé #thisgirl #ilovesweetpotatoes
  12. I got tired of telling people I had surgery on my foot so I told my uncle I dropped a big jar of peanut butter on it. He believed me.
  13. Dad: can I watch something for once? Me: but it’s a “Suite Life on Deck” marathon
  14. I pay a squillion dollars to go to this school and they still can’t afford enough toilet paper
  15. Overheard in class: “if you added just a dollar to everyone’s tuition…” “you’d have like $1200” #juissmall
  16. Overheard in our hotel lobby: “ they have 21 forever and other stores like that”
  17. Me: so what have you been up to Grandma? Gma: I made a pillowcase yesterday Me: exciting

19. I nudged and I nudged but I couldn’t get my friends to build a fort in the lobby

20. *Opening Christmas presents* Sis: what dad really needs from Santa are hearing aids Dad: what’d she say?

21. Person *looks at my watch* How do you read that there’s no numbers on it

22. So I had a care package full of homemade cookies last night and when I woke up this morning there were only three left. The cookie culprit is yet to be found…

23. I found a creepy porcelain doll dressed for Mardi Gras and wrapped it up for a white elephant

24. We bought a new artificial Christmas tree this year and my dad had to get one with a remote

25. The lights on our Christmas tree have SEVEN FUNCTIONS. I repeat SEVEN FUNCTIONS

26. Dad: we can’t get a 12 foot Christmas tree, it won’t fit in the living room Me: Christmas is the season for miracles

27. Me: *turns up thermostat* *three days later* Dad: WHO TURNED UP THE THERMOSTAT?! Me: *side steps out of the room*

28. *watching home alone with four kids* Kid: Did you know that boy is like 45 now?

29. Kid: This movie takes place in the olden days Me: yeah 1990

30. *watching Home Alone 2* Kid: how come that doesn't look like Trump? Me: because that’s how he looked in the olden days

31. Me: decorating Christmas cookies relaxes me... Also Me: *stresses about the color of the icing*

Cover Image Credit: Google

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19 Struggles Only Girls With The 'Looks Thin In Clothes But Not In A Bikini' Body Type Will Understand

A resounding 'thank you' to whoever decided one-pieces were cool again.

We grew up thinking the world was black and white. There's tall people and short people. There's old people and young people.

There's fat people and skinny people.

But as you get older, you realize there is a lot more in between those two ends of the spectrum than you ever thought possible. Especially when it comes to weight. And you do a lot more realizing if you're in an awkward position on that scale... Literally.

1. People always tell you to stop saying you are fat

Obviously, your friends SHOULD prevent you from talking negatively about yourself. And if you only saw you when you were fully dressed, you'd probably tell yourself to stop saying you're fat, too.

2. And are kind of surprised by your actual weight

You've definitely had friends who are shocked by the number on your scale because you can carry it pretty well when you are fully dressed.

3. Sometimes you feel like a catfish

Have you ever changed out of your super cute, flattering outfit and looked at yourself in the mirror and thought... Wow, am I lying to people?

4. But you know this is probably true for most people

When you're wearing clothes, typically the parts of a body that bring about insecurities (stomach, namely) are covered. No matter the body type, you realize most people are more comfortable in clothes than out of them.

5. Your confidence is often contingent on the month

November? Yep, won't need to be in shorts or a bikini for about 7-8 months. I am good to go.

February? I'll need to be in a bikini soon.. I could use some work.

6. You are thrilled by the one-piece bathing suit making a fashion come back

A resounding 'thank you' to whoever decided it was time to give one-pieces a try again. The stomachs of us in-between gals are appreciative.

7. Crop tops are 95% of the time not your top of choice

Yeah, okay, clothes are supposed to work for me and not against me.

8. You honestly don't understand jean sizes

I have fluctuated in weight a lot of my life, most recently losing 25lbs, and I still did not budge in jean sizes.

9. You wonder what other people think when they see you

Do other people see me as thin in clothing? Or fat in a bikini? What size am I perceived as?

10. Shopping is kind of a nightmare

Have you ever found about 27 items you liked, added the prices and thought, ah, it is going to be so tough to choose from all of these items? Only to go into the fitting room and realize only 2 of the items fit you well? Yep, me every single time I go to the store.

SEE ALSO: 7 Struggles Of Being The Girl Who Is "Not Skinny" But Also "Not Fat"

11. You're thankful that at least you've got boobs

You can kind of hide them in clothes, and then let them steal the show away from your tummy in a swimsuit.

12. You have a hard time setting weight-loss goals

You aren't really sure how overweight you are (if you are, at all) and you don't want to be at an unhealthy weight on either side of the spectrum.

13. Body positivity comes and goes

There are days, weeks or even months when you feel like the most beautiful person on the planet, and then something happens (old jeans don't fit, you try on a new bathing suit, etc.) and you convince yourself that all of that confidence was wrong and undeserved.

14. You always try on the biggest size first

Either this or you're in a weird limbo between the smallest plus sizes size and the biggest generic sizes size.

15. Half of you knows every body is a bikini body, and half of you is convinced that yours is not

You know that your body is worthy of wearing whatever you want to wear, but looking at yourself and seeing what society (and you) sometimes deem as unattractive can eat away at that knowledge.

16. But you also know self-love and confidence are key to beauty

Even if you have to fake it, you know that feeling confident is going to carry you pretty far.

17. Being in a bathing suit is a constant game of readjustment

Okay, I am sitting. Pull the bottoms up to cover as much as my stomach as possible and the back of the top down to cover any back rolls.

18. You've avoided the mirror after a shower before

You know that you are just going to lose all the comfort you felt in your body during the day when you see yourself, so sometimes it is best to just avoid it.

19. Ultimately, you know your beauty is not contingent on what you are wearing

The goal for everyone should be to get to a point where it doesn't matter if you're in a snowsuit, a bathing suit or a birthday suit... You can see your beauty no matter what and feel confident despite what you have on. It'll take time, but falling in love with the way you look is worth it.

Cover Image Credit: Sara Petty

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Warm Weather Is Finally Here And That Means Seasonal Depression Can Go Fly A Kite

Like seriously, get out of here.


Any form of depression flippin' sucks. Like something major. Mental health is wicked important and sometimes crazy hard to maintain. The cold weather of winter does absolutely nothing to help either and ends up making it a lot harder to stay motivated, want to get out of bed and to ever go outside to be productive and active. Vitamin D is so detrimental to the health of our bodies. The sunshine lets us soak that up, but it's almost impossible to do when it's sub-zero for four months straight (ok, a bit of an exaggeration, but not really).

Seasonal depression brings out the worst moods during the long winter months and drags us down. What we can do is to busy ourselves and push ourselves to be the happiest we can be with enjoyable activities. Make sure you do fun things that will help you avoid being stir crazy. It's a vital time of self-care and making sure you are physically and emotionally healthy.

Once the icy force field of the winter breaks, spring flourishes and so do we. The heavyweight that was hanging on our shoulders is lifted off. We instantly feel lighter. It's an amazing feeling and so relieving. Getting through the winter in one piece feels so successful.

So, have fun now. Enjoy the fresh air and let the sunshine kiss your skin. Embrace your happy and positive thoughts. Cherish not having to wear a jacket and the fact that you need air conditioning in your car instead of heat. Roll the windows down and blast the music. Make your days include some form of outside activities and exercise. Celebrate every single aspect of the spring and summer because when winter rolls around again, you will want memories to keep you going so that when you have to do it all over again, it will go smoothly.

So, goodbye seasonal depression, we won't miss you.

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