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31 Candy Corny Halloween Jokes

Halloween is meant to be scary, but it doesn't mean we can't have a few laughs, too.

Samantha Keenan

Oct 31, 2017

Butler University

1452

Family Photo Album

Halloween is a time for tricks and treats, but it's also a time for laughs and giggles amidst the ghoulish scares and boos.

1. How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch!

2. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

She had bad blood!

3. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

He had no-body to dance with!

4. What do ghosts drink when they are thirsty?

Ghoul-Aid!

5. Who did Dracula take on a date?

His "ghoul" friend!

6. What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin' drops!

7. What do you call witches that live together?

"Broom" mates!

8. What do birds do on Halloween?

Go Trick or Tweeting!

9. What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!

10. What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone Appetit!

11. Why wouldn't the skeleton go trick or treating?

He didn't have the guts!

12. Why do vampires need mouthwash?

Because they have bat breath!

13. Who do monsters buy cookies from?

Ghoul scouts!

14. What might you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

15. Which ghost is the best dancer?

The Boogie Man!

16. What kind of music do mummies like listening to?

Wrap music!

17. Why don't mummies take vacations?

They're afraid they'll relax and unwind!

18. What position does a ghost play in soccer?

Ghoulie!

19. What room in a house is useless for a ghost?

A living room!

20. Do you know how to make a witch itch?

Take away the "w"!

21. Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine?

Because he was having a coffin fit!

22. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Day-scare!

23. Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop?

Forever 21!

24. Why did the man fail as a standup comedian, but later become a prolific ax murderer?

He was a total hack!

25. Why didn't the British boy's mother ever dress up for Halloween?

Because she was already a mummy!

26. Why did people think the jack o' lantern had a crush on the girl who carved him?

Because everyone could see he held a candle for her!

27. Why did you see so much hair when the werewolf dropped his pants?

It was a full moon!

28. What did Betty the Horse go as on Halloween?

A night-mare!

29. When does Dracula respond to the name Daniella?

When he's at Starbucks!

30. Why did everyone think Mr. Jones was rich?

Because he gave every kid who came to his door 100 Grand!

31. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

A stake sandwich!

Big thanks to Pinterest for all of the help finding these jokes. If you want to find some other ones- go to pinterest.com and type in "halloween jokes"! Happy Halloween!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

31 Candy Corny Halloween Jokes

Halloween is meant to be scary, but it doesn't mean we can't have a few laughs, too.

1. How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?

2. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

3. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

4. What do ghosts drink when they are thirsty?

5. Who did Dracula take on a date?

6. What do vampires take when they are sick?

7. What do you call witches that live together?

8. What do birds do on Halloween?

9. What is a ghost's favorite pie?

10. What does a skeleton say before dinner?

11. Why wouldn't the skeleton go trick or treating?

12. Why do vampires need mouthwash?

13. Who do monsters buy cookies from?

14. What might you find on a haunted beach?

15. Which ghost is the best dancer?

16. What kind of music do mummies like listening to?

17. Why don't mummies take vacations?

18. What position does a ghost play in soccer?

19. What room in a house is useless for a ghost?

20. Do you know how to make a witch itch?

21. Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine?

22. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

23. Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop?

24. Why did the man fail as a standup comedian, but later become a prolific ax murderer?

25. Why didn't the British boy's mother ever dress up for Halloween?

26. Why did people think the jack o' lantern had a crush on the girl who carved him?

27. Why did you see so much hair when the werewolf dropped his pants?

28. What did Betty the Horse go as on Halloween?

29. When does Dracula respond to the name Daniella?

30. Why did everyone think Mr. Jones was rich?

31. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

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4. Concerts in your car are a regular thing.

5. You have an innumerable amount of inside jokes that are always funny.

6. When she gets clothes it's like you're getting new clothes too.

7. She's seen you at your worst and doesn't judge you…but has taken pictures to remind you.

8. She always knows just what to say to cheer you up…or what food (or drink) to make you if words aren't working.

9. She's the first person to jump to your defense.

10. You have a permanent best friend.

You're gonna make it after all.

1. Google is your best friend.

2. Don't be afraid to say no!

3. Justify your actions/purchases.

4. Call mom.

5. Remember to do things that make you happy.

I'll be the first one to admit I'm addicted to Starbucks.

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