Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Lifestyle

31 Candy Corny Halloween Jokes

Halloween is meant to be scary, but it doesn't mean we can't have a few laughs, too.

Samantha Keenan

Oct 31, 2017

Butler University

1444

Family Photo Album

Halloween is a time for tricks and treats, but it's also a time for laughs and giggles amidst the ghoulish scares and boos.

1. How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch!

2. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

She had bad blood!

3. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

He had no-body to dance with!

4. What do ghosts drink when they are thirsty?

Ghoul-Aid!

5. Who did Dracula take on a date?

His "ghoul" friend!

6. What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin' drops!

7. What do you call witches that live together?

"Broom" mates!

8. What do birds do on Halloween?

Go Trick or Tweeting!

9. What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!

10. What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone Appetit!

11. Why wouldn't the skeleton go trick or treating?

He didn't have the guts!

12. Why do vampires need mouthwash?

Because they have bat breath!

13. Who do monsters buy cookies from?

Ghoul scouts!

14. What might you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

15. Which ghost is the best dancer?

The Boogie Man!

16. What kind of music do mummies like listening to?

Wrap music!

17. Why don't mummies take vacations?

They're afraid they'll relax and unwind!

18. What position does a ghost play in soccer?

Ghoulie!

19. What room in a house is useless for a ghost?

A living room!

20. Do you know how to make a witch itch?

Take away the "w"!

21. Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine?

Because he was having a coffin fit!

22. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Day-scare!

23. Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop?

Forever 21!

24. Why did the man fail as a standup comedian, but later become a prolific ax murderer?

He was a total hack!

25. Why didn't the British boy's mother ever dress up for Halloween?

Because she was already a mummy!

26. Why did people think the jack o' lantern had a crush on the girl who carved him?

Because everyone could see he held a candle for her!

27. Why did you see so much hair when the werewolf dropped his pants?

It was a full moon!

28. What did Betty the Horse go as on Halloween?

A night-mare!

29. When does Dracula respond to the name Daniella?

When he's at Starbucks!

30. Why did everyone think Mr. Jones was rich?

Because he gave every kid who came to his door 100 Grand!

31. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

A stake sandwich!

Big thanks to Pinterest for all of the help finding these jokes. If you want to find some other ones- go to pinterest.com and type in "halloween jokes"! Happy Halloween!

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Entertainment

25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

SUNY Binghamton

36387

Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less

best beatles lyrics

Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College

99624

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

waitlisted

Recommended for you

31 Candy Corny Halloween Jokes

Halloween is meant to be scary, but it doesn't mean we can't have a few laughs, too.

1. How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?

2. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?

3. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

4. What do ghosts drink when they are thirsty?

5. Who did Dracula take on a date?

6. What do vampires take when they are sick?

7. What do you call witches that live together?

8. What do birds do on Halloween?

9. What is a ghost's favorite pie?

10. What does a skeleton say before dinner?

11. Why wouldn't the skeleton go trick or treating?

12. Why do vampires need mouthwash?

13. Who do monsters buy cookies from?

14. What might you find on a haunted beach?

15. Which ghost is the best dancer?

16. What kind of music do mummies like listening to?

17. Why don't mummies take vacations?

18. What position does a ghost play in soccer?

19. What room in a house is useless for a ghost?

20. Do you know how to make a witch itch?

21. Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine?

22. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

23. Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop?

24. Why did the man fail as a standup comedian, but later become a prolific ax murderer?

25. Why didn't the British boy's mother ever dress up for Halloween?

26. Why did people think the jack o' lantern had a crush on the girl who carved him?

27. Why did you see so much hair when the werewolf dropped his pants?

28. What did Betty the Horse go as on Halloween?

29. When does Dracula respond to the name Daniella?

30. Why did everyone think Mr. Jones was rich?

31. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

Subscribe to our Newsletter

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

Subscribe to our
Newsletter