It's crazy to think that growing up through all the pain of breakups that they were meant to be there. The love you felt when you were a preteen was really a lesson in time and interpersonal relationships. You have 3 loves of your life; your first love typically happens at a young age but you eventually grow apart or break up for some minute reason. However at that time, this break up takes you back, you believe that your love story was the greatest fairytale to ever be told or that you or that won't ever find a love like that again but that couldn't be further from the truth. You grow up and may look back and think that it wasn't love at all, but the truth is, it was love for what you knew love to be at that time. You learn that there are different depths of love, and you grow as a person. My first love, let's just call them Jeffrey, we met in middle school and I thought we would go the long hall. We lasted roughly 3 years, we had breakups and makeups over silly things and at that time I thought our final breakup was quite literally the end of the world, but it wasn't; it was only the beginning. Jeff's love took me to places I never could imagine and I thought our relationship was the defining event of my adolescence but the defining moment is that there is no such thing.
Then you meet the second love of your life and it takes you on the biggest emotional rollercoaster of your life. This love teaches you lessons about what it really takes to be in a healthy relationship, it makes you stronger. The second love of your life shows you great pain, lies, betrayal, drama, abuse and most importantly it shows you what you love about yourself. We realize that sometimes it's not about what we believe love to be, it's about what love should be. Your second love takes you to a place that no one has taken you before, you become closed off, cautious, cold, and careful; because of your second love, you now know exactly what you want in a healthy relationship and partner; thus you aren't willing to settle for something for a love less than you deserve. My second love was my high school sweetheart, Austin showed me what it was like to find myself through hardships, independence, and strength. I thought again that this love would be it, he would be my knight in shining armor and that we'd brisk off seamlessly into the world hand in hand but, boy was I wrong! My relationship with Austin was filled with love, drama, abuse, heartache, and self-realization that lasted nearly 4 years. This relationship taught me what love shouldn't be like, what I wanted in a lifelong partner and how different I wanted my "long hall" to be like.
Life hits you with your third love, and let me tell you this unremarkable love comes blindly and silently. Your third love creeps up on you and hits you like a freight train, it's not one that you go looking for, but it finds you when you least expect it. No matter how many walls you build, how many times you've been hurt before, this love will take you by surprise. They won't take you for granted, they break down those barriers without trying and you can factually see a future with this person. They may not be your usual type, this may not even be your usual relationship but that's the point. This third love isn't like the others, they make you want to be a better person, they teach you lessons about life and yourself without you even realizing it. You see the beauty in their imperfections, you communicate in a healthy manner, you don't hide from them; you fall in love with them slowly and sometimes all at once. Your third love is the true love of your life, and you couldn't be more thankful for their presence in the universe. My third love came at a huge surprise, effortless, and extraordinary. My third love, Alan came into my life by complete surprise and has taught me lessons about myself and life. Alan broke down every wall I had in place like it was nothing! Alan saw me for who I was, flaws and faults in all without judging me. Alan has made every painful breakup seem worth it while making me thankful for them. He's taken my world by storm, flipped it upside down and I haven't been able to wipe this goofy smile off my face for 4 years, and I cant wait to see what this journey through life, struggles, and marriage brings.