Another trip around the sun. Another birthday has come and to be honest, probably not the best one. You finish up the last few months of 26 happy at your progress, happy you let out toxicity, happy to be alone, happy happy happy. The New Year comes, you got great friends, a great man, great family. And then, 27. Rough weekend and a failed relationship.
Here we are again, that gut wrenching feeling when you're lonely. You have everyone in the world texting you, telling you to come hangout or that they are here for you or that anything I need they'd love to help but, you'd rather just curl in a ball.
You were done feeling this way ever again. Told yourself the feeling of waking up with that heavy chest, hoping it wasn't all over, would never happen again. When you know you have to put on a happy face and continue working and living your life as if nothing is wrong.
I never like reaching out, I don't think anyone does because there's always someone who's had it worse. Shit, you've even had it worse. Losing someone after 5 years vs losing someone after 2 months. And maybe, not just losing someone to a break up, losing them for good, death. And it's like damn, brush yourself off girl you're going to be fine.
But what I say to that, it's OKAY to not be okay. If it's small to others, it might feel huge to you. And it is okay to want to cry and scream and say why me again.
Emotions and feelings cannot be erased overnight. They just can't. You can fake it til you make it, most of us do, but when you're crying, let yourself cry. Let yourself release. Let yourself be vulnerable. Because each time you let out a release, you're one step closer to the day you feel completely healed again.