2016 was weird.

We can all admit it. Between politics, an uproar over a dead gorilla, and Kayne West, this year has been plagued with loud headlines, riots, and just downright strange happenings.

However, in the midst of it all, I somehow found Christ.

As I sit here, eating my warm Poptart and trying to figure out how to word an article about the greatest turning point in my life, I can’t help but reflect on who I was coming into this year, and who I am leaving it. So, I guess the only way to truly write this is to, as my best friend always reminds me, just be myself.

When I walked into this year, I was a mess. Selfish, angry, bitter, mean, anxious, and sad were only a few of the words that could have described me at the time. I didn’t think anything was wrong, though; I thought I had life figured out and the pain I was feeling about my past was something I could be shoved to the side and never be spoken of. I didn’t feel the need to deal with anything. So, instead, I dealt it towards everyone else, including the people I loved the most.

I wasn’t happy, and I didn’t quite understand why. I had grown up in the church. I dressed in my best every Sunday morning, went to Vacation Bible School every summer, volunteered when I aged out of the program, and I even got baptised when I was in the fifth grade. So, that made me a Christian, right? I was living for Him, right? Weren’t the boxes all checked off? Didn’t I meet all of the requirements, just like advancing to the next level course in college? Wasn’t I doing good enough?

Then why am I not happy?

In a sentence, I was still trying to take control.

Over the summer, I came to a point where I realized that the road I was going down wasn’t a good one. In fact, it was destroying me. I laid in my bed and knew that something drastic had to happen. I was a mean, bitter, angry person, hurting the people around me, and I would continue to be that way unless I handed the reins of my life over to God completely.

Giving up control scares people. We don’t like to think that we aren’t in control of what happens to us. We like to plan our lives out according to our plan, what we want, and we will work ourselves to the bone trying to make our plan work.

I am here to tell you that God has a much greater life laid out for you than anything that you could have cooked up yourself. He has great plans for His children, and we can either accept them, and live for Him everyday, or not. That’s the thing about Him. He won’t yank the reins from you. If He did, then that wouldn’t be free will. We would have a perfect world. We have to give them up willingly and wholeheartedly.

That summer changed everything for me. And now, six months later, changes have taken place in my life that I could never have imagined.

My anger, something that I struggled with so much throughout my entire life, was gone. I started feeling more love towards people, and I become more relaxed and at peace. I started praying every night, about everything, doing devotionals and having just a hunger to learn about Him. Now, I wanted to do everything I could to spread His word.

Will your life be perfect when you give God control? Of course not. In fact, one thing that I have learned from this semester is that God sometimes has to destroy before He can rebuild even stronger. But I can guarantee you that it is truly worth it.

I still struggle, as well. But the difference is that with Christ, you will have hope. You have hope for the future, you have hope for your life, and you have hope that you will be living with Him someday. And you know that everything, no matter what, will always turn out okay.

2017 is just around the corner. Before you know it, we’ll be watching the ball drop with Ryan Seacrest and celebrating a brand new year. But in between the champagne toasts and sparklers, let this be a time of reflection, as cheesy as it sounds. I am not the same person leaving 2016 as I was coming into it, and I doubt many other people are, as well.

2017 will be quite a year, but it can be a year that’s full of love, and full of hope.