It happened. My birthday last week officially marked my survival through two full decades. I know my 20s will present new challenges such as graduating college, finding a full-time job, buying a house, etc. However, I have had a lot of experiences thus far that have really prepared me for this next step in adulthood. Here are 20 things I think all women should know by their 20th birthday.
1. Be professional.
Professionalism becomes much more important with age. Learn how to write a professional e-mail. Start networking early at professional events or through LinkedIn. Create a cover letter and resume for future job positions. And please remove your trick voicemail greetings - it will not impress future employers.
2. Uphold your end of a conversation.
After working in a call center (whose target demographic is prospective college students) for almost a year, I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I've talked to a student with absolutely no social skills. Not only is this a necessary ability in the workplace, it also helps maintain strong relationships.
3. Be mindful of what you post on social media.
Maybe you had a lot of fun at that frat party, but don't constantly post pictures of yourself passed out on the couch after a night out (especially if you're under 21). Prospective employers will have access to everything you post on social media - Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Make sure you're leaving a good impression.
4. Keep your space clean.
At 20 years old, you should know how to keep your space clean; vacuum, do the dishes and clean your clothes. Your room is not a trash can, so don't treat it as such.
5. Cook a real meal.
Macaroni & cheese and deli sandwiches get old after awhile. You should really know how to cook a real meal, even if it's just throwing ingredients into a crockpot. Meal-prepping is especially useful for college students without much time during the week.
6. Manage your time.
Get a planner or make use of your Google calendar. Keep track of all your responsibilities, but don't forget to allow time for relaxation as well.
7. Be healthy.
Don't eat ramen noodles for every meal. Buy an abundance of fruits and vegetables at the grocery store. You'll feel much better and energized if you're not eating junk food all of the time. Regarding exercise, try hitting the gym a few times during the week. You don't have to be a gym rat, but keep your body in shape and those endorphins flowing.
8. Improve mental health.
Some people enjoy running, while others enjoy painting but find out what works best for you to best relieve stress. Allow yourself time to de-stress after a long day. You have so many years left - don't spend them stressed out and anxious.
9. Be independent.
Know how to take care of yourself. You shouldn't need someone to remind you to do necessary things like shower, eat or take out the trash. Be independent and learn to survive on your own.
10. Walk away from toxic relationships.
It's okay to walk away from people who do not add value to your life anymore. It's okay to walk away from people who are emotionally toxic. You don't have to feel guilty for doing this, especially if these people are taking a toll on your mental health.
11. Manage your money.
12. Appreciate the little things, especially your family.
Growing up, I never appreciated my hometown and I never appreciated silence. After living in Minneapolis for two years, my love for these two things has grown immensely. Practicing daily gratitude, even if not documented, is extremely helpful for your mental health.
13. Recognize your faults and work to improve them.
14. Try new things.
Don't lead a monotonous life. You can't live the same day over and over again and feel fulfilled. Go to the new restaurant you've been meaning to try. Travel. Or just do something as simple as mixing up your Starbucks drink for the day.
15. Love deeply and truly.
This doesn't have to be a significant other - it could be family, friends, or even yourself. For me, it's my nephew - I never thought I could love something as much as I love him and yet, here we are. I think everyone should experience that type of love and happiness by the time they turn 20. It's powerful and so rewarding.
16. Accept and give compliments.
When somebody tries to compliment you, you don't have to try and disagree with that person in hopes of being humble. Learn to accept the compliments you are given and give compliments to people as well.
17. Stop making excuses for people.
I still struggle with this a lot, but sometimes people don't deserve a second chance. It doesn't matter who the person is - whether they're a new friend or have been by your side for 16 years - if they're not putting the effort in, it's time to leave. Especially if you're constantly making excuses for the other person in a relationship - "He only cheated because he was drunk" or "He has never hit me before" - these are serious signs that something is wrong.
18. Know when it's time to take a step back.
Know when it's time to step back - not only from friendships but from daily activities, too. If you're constantly overwhelmed, maybe it's time to drop one of your activities. You need to know yourself and your limits.
19. Be present in your life.
For God's sake, learn to disconnect from your devices. Enjoy the moment you're in. Don't live your entire life through a phone screen. Be present with the people around you. Appreciate them.
20. Be unapologetically yourself.
Be yourself in all circumstances, and don't compare yourself to other people. Don't be ashamed of a specific hobby or interest just because it's not as popular as alternative options. And always remember: 'another woman's beauty does not signify the absence of your own.'
