The 20 Stages Of Playing A New RPG
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The 20 Stages Of Playing A New RPG

Heart-shattering romance, emotional turmoil and hours of character creation are the standard for fans of the genre.

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The 20 Stages Of Playing A New RPG
Spreadshirt.com

There's something to be said about a game that not only let's you escape reality for a few hours, but also let's you create an entirely new persona within a fictional world to do whatever you please. The intensive character creation and emotional roller-coaster that roleplaying games (RPGs) put a player through can become addicting. Welcome to the world of an RPG fan.

1. That moment when you see the trailer for the first time:

Explosions. Witty Banter. Epic soundtrack. This is going to be the longest wait of your life.

2. When you finally have your hands on the game and you slice through that plastic:

Don't lie. Every gamer just heard that sound in their head.

3. Getting into every RPG fan's favorite part of a new game - Character Creation:

Do I name her something cool or just use my name?

4. 10 minutes...30 minutes...2 hours....later:

Hey, they have to look perfect, right?

5. Huzzah! Your first dialogue choice. Decision time, are you going -

The sweet heroic route:

Everyone loves a good hero.

Or the dastardly chaotic route:

Ahh, the sweet sounds of chaos.

6. When you finish the tutorial with ease and think you've got this under control:

I can totally take that gun-toting gang member on unarmed-oh, he one-shotted me.

7. What being a Level One in any RPG feels like:

Uncoordinated, usually scantily-clothed and fleeing from conflict? Sounds like the first few hours of an RPG to me.

8. That feeling the first time you meet your new companion:

I can feel the shipping starting already.

9. And if your RPG has a driving mechanism:

Sometimes I mean to run over a group of pedestrians, sometimes I accidentally drive into a wall.

10. Money, weapons, armor, really anything at the start of your game:

That rusty pistol you find in the bottom of a potato sack will become your best friend.

11. When the time comes for your first major storyline choice:

Help the town or burn the town? Why is this so hard?

12. After about five minutes of painstaking contemplation, you pick one:

But it always does.

13. Once you've managed to survive until the end of the game:

More money than you can spend:


A set of armor that just makes you:


Your character and your companions are just:


You're ready to take on the boss.

14. But what would a good RPG be without an emotionally gut-wrenching plot twist:

It's okay. I totally wasn't emotionally attached to that character anyways.

15. After you manage to pick up what's left of your feelings, you finally think you're ready for the boss battle:

Calling out the 1000 year old demon just feels so good.

16. You were wrong:

Until he smites you with a flaming hammer.

17. So you run to the online forums:

It's not cheating. It's utilizing resources.

18. Hours of research and deaths later:

Sweet, sweet success.

19. That final cut-scene ending as the credits roll:

Excuse me while I sob into my controller and become completely engrossed in the game's fandom on Tumblr.

20. After all that emotional turmoil, hours spent locked to your TV, and relationships ruined, you see it. The trailer for the sequel to the game:

And we repeat.



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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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