I'm 20 And I Still Don't Have My 'Forever' Friends, But That's OK

I'm 20 And I Still Don't Have My 'Forever' Friends, But I'm Not Going To Rush It

It's OK if you haven't met the ladies that you want to be your bridesmaids, I promise you're not alone.


I'm 20. That number seems so big and so small to me. I have lived for 20 years and made so many friends, but I've been wondering: will any of those people be in my life in another 20 years? When I was younger I really believed I would go to college and instantly fall in love and make friends with the girls who I would be BFFs with forever. Unfortunately, that second part hasn't happened yet.

But I am honestly OK with not having found my girls-for-life yet.

I know that sounds weird because we all crave friendship, even me. I think every young woman finds friends in different ways and for some of us, it can be pretty tough. Do not get me wrong I have an amazing group of friends thanks to my sorority, but there's a chance once college is over those girls will never talk to me again. I talk to people in classes and I have lived with female roommates the entire time I have been in college, but I don't know if I have met that group of ladies that will play silly baby shower games with me and be there to celebrate my dog's 10th birthday with me.

For me, I can be calm knowing that I have the rest of my undergraduate college time, graduate school and whenever I end up working or moving to once all of that is over. Somewhere in all that life, I am living I know I will find amazing young women to share all of my experiences with.

Now, none of this is knocking my current friends. I have so many ladies I absolutely adore, but for a lot of them, they already formed friendships with each other before I met them. It can be hard to insert yourself into an already made friend group, but that does not mean you shouldn't try! If you clicked with one person in a friend group there is a chance you will click with the other few girls in that group as well.

If you are in the same boat as me, just know we are not going to hit a social iceberg and sink. Like I said earlier, 20 can still be a small number. We have so much life to live and I know one of these days I will meet some fantastic women and think, "Yes! These humans are crazy enough to stand by my side forever!" I promise you will have that moment, too.

Who knows, maybe we have all already met the friends we will grow old with and just don't know it yet. I know a lot of "old people" that have told me some of their best friends were there worst nightmares in college, but now they spend countless hours on the phone together and going on ladies-only weekends. Not to mention you have like seven more career changes before you settle into your job so you will have plenty of work BFFs to turn into real BFFs in the next 10 years!

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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I've Found My Soulmate But It Isn't Who You Would Expect

Who said soulmates had to be romantic?


Soulmates seem to be one fantasy everyone thinks about. I remember being little and dreaming of one day finding my soulmate. Thinking there was one guy out there that was made for just me and would turn my world upside down. Little did I know that by the middle of my sophomore year in college I would find my soulmate. Actually soulmates, seven of them to be exact. And these soulmates aren't guys that came into my life and swept me off my feet. They are the most incredible seven girls I know.

These girls are the fiercest, kindest, and most loyal people I've ever met. They push me to become the absolute best version of myself, not only by encouraging me to do so but by inspiring me with how truly amazing each one of them is. They are the type of girls who will drop whatever they are doing to come see me when I'm having a bad day. We've all wiped away each other's tears, shared countless laughs, and helped each other back up when one of us falls. Our similarities are what brought us together, but our differences are what cause us to all fit so perfectly together.

Our littles supporting us when we preformed a step routine in front of all FSL

I've always wanted to be a part of a "girl gang", and now I finally am (and let me tell you it lives up to the hype). The memories I make with these girls are going to be what I look back on when I'm older and reminiscing on my college years. Whether we are having a night in that consists of eating junk food and ranting about boys or going out for a night of fun, we always seem to somehow get into some wild situation that we can't stop laugh about the next day. I am incredibly lucky to have found a group of girls that makes life so unpredictable and interesting.

Now I know when you think "soulmate" you probably think of who you are going to end up marrying and starting a life with, but I've come to realize soulmates can't be confined to just romantic relationships. Your soulmate can be anyone in your life, and I'm lucky to call my seven best friends mine.

Friendsgiving, 2018

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