I remember sitting in a tattoo chair at the tender age of 10 years old.

My mother was in the other chair getting her first tattoo. As I watched intently, as the buzz of the machine blended into the Alice In Chains playing in the background, I fell in love. My mother's tattoo opened my eyes to the world of tattoo culture, and the idea of wearing a piece of art on your sleeve. Since then, 10 years later, I have gotten two, fairly large, and bad-ass tattoos. Years of planning, conceptualizing, and patience spawned these wearable pieces of art and I know I will cherish and flaunt them forever.

But, once a day, I get a crazy question about my tattoos, and I know I am not alone. In honor of another upcoming tattoo appointment, here are the 17 questions I, and everyone with tattoos, have heard a million times and will hear a hundred more:

1. Is that real??

Nah....


2. Did it hurt?

Yes.

3. Did you cry?

It's not like I'm getting my leg amputated with dental floss and no anesthetic.

4. Can I touch it?

I'm sure you will anyway.

5. You wanna see mine?

Sure, I'll look at your generic meaningful sticker tattoo.

6. Why did you get it?

7. What does it mean?

Insert deep meaning here.

8. Why is it so big?

Go big or go home.

9. Where did you get the money for that?

Hard work.

10. You know what would be a great tattoo for you?

Heavy on the sarcasm, please.

11. How will you get a job?

The same way you got a job...

12. What did you parents say? Your grandparents?

Grandparents still don't know.

13. What will your children say when they see it?

Look at you assuming I going to have kids, they are tattoo money.

14. Aren't you afraid what they will look like when you are 80?

I'm 80. I don't care.

15. I love tatted women. Can I see them up close and in person?

Nice try, but no.

16. I really love this "insert overdone Pinterest tattoo." Should I get it?

It's not my choice, boo boo.

17. Are you going to get more?

Of course! Tattoos are like potato chips, you can't just have one.