The dictionary defines petty as "of little importance; trivial." I, however, define petty as a way of life, and if you're anything like me, then you've mastered the art of being petty — yes, being petty is an art form.
You've probably spent years perfecting your eye rolling techniques and countless hours throwing shade, you live for drama and enjoy a steaming hot cup of tea. Here's to all of us who are petty and proud!
1. You can roll your eyes and flip your hair better than anyone you know.
2. You throw more shade than a solar eclipse.
3. You're fluent in sarcasm.
4. You always keep your receipts.
5. You don't mind putting people in their place.
You actually kind of enjoy it.
6. You love a good subtweet.
Unless it's about you, because then it's time to drag someone.
7. But you live for direct confrontation.
8. You always call people on their bull.
9. You never admit when you're wrong.
It's not like you're ever wrong anyway.
10. When someone calls you petty you take it as a compliment.
11. You're always ready for tea time.
And I mean always ready.
12. You love seeing drama on your timeline.
13. You're always coming up with new ways to be petty.
It's important to stay creative.
14. Sometimes you start fights purely out of boredom.
15. You blow everything out of proportion.
Did that girl take your unassigned assigned seat?! DRAG HER!
16. People are always trying to come for you.
The key word here is trying.
17. You know exactly how petty you are.
And you absolutely love it.
So let's raise a teacup to all the petty queens out there! Keeping slaying! And in the wise words of Joanne the Scammer, "Be positive. Be patient. Be petty."