It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV.
Well, don't look for any of those good old-fashioned values (on which we used to rely) from the cast of Fox's "Family Guy."
One of the most morally questionable characters in this "adult cartoon" is, by far, the inexplicably British toddler Stewie Griffin. Bent on gaining his revenge against his mother and, in multiple episodes, finding proof that Peter is not his father, Stewie is an adorable bundle of bitingly sarcastic comments wrapped up in precious red overalls.
While some of the things that he says and does in the show are surprising and often disturbing for a toddler, Stewie also has several moments throughout the show that leave you thinking "me too, Stewie. Me too."
1. Listening to stupid comments
No matter who you are or how high of a tolerance you have for ignorant comments, there has undoubtedly been a time in your life that you wanted to slap a person for their stupid comments. While most people can hold it back for quite a while, Stewie's status as a young child means that he hasn't had time to develop this level of patience. No matter how much you may relate to Stewie in this moment, you are not a toddler. You may not have much patience, but you should have enough to remove yourself from the conversation before you insult someone. Be the adult in this situation.
2. Dealing with loneliness
Nothing is worse than having the sudden desire to get out of the house when all of your friends are out of town. You're bored and maybe even a little lonely so it's no wonder that you are willing to throw a temper tantrum for some attention in moments like this. Shout your demands all you want, your best friend does not love you enough to leave her cruise early to entertain you.
3. Dealing with technological issues
Unless you work in IT (and even then,) everybody knows that there is nothing more frustrating than constant error messages and reminders to update your system. News flash, computer companies: normal people have no idea how to fix the problem and we will never seek help from the annoying Microsoft Word paperclip. Just give us a button that says "give up and call IT" from the start and everyone will be much happier.
4. Feeling antisocial
It's funny what some people will do to get out of social interaction. Some of us will take "the long way" around the grocery store to avoid a former classmate and some of us will even leave an empty restaurant if the only other customer is a chatty, elderly relative. Then there's Stewie, the king of avoiding social situations for selfish reasons.
5. Dealing with flirtatious strangers
Whether male or female, very few people are genuinely comfortable with being severely hit on. You want to avoid hurting their feelings but you just find walking up to a stranger on the street and offering to pay for dinner extremely creepy. Stewie's message rings loud and clear: "go away."
6. Dealing with toxic people
Like most people, you probably think you are a genuinely nice person. You probably also hate spending more time than necessary with rude and arrogant people. Although you would rather take the Stewie route and tell that obnoxious coworker to shove off, you're probably better off just going home for the rest of the day. Sure, it may cost you a little bit of your pay but it's truly worth your sanity--trust me.
7. When nobody is listening to you
You know the situation: you're in a conversation with a big group of friends and just as you finally get your turn to tell a hysterical story about your cat's latest shenanigans everybody else whips out their phones. What gives? You think your video of Mr. Mittens is the funniest thing since "Keyboard Cat!" Why aren't these people even pretending to be interested? Don't any of them have a sense of humor? What about the sight of you opening your mouth makes it okay to scroll through Tumblr? Stewie's been there and he definitely understands your pain .
8. Talking to fake people
You know that one person that, no matter what they do or say, can never convince you that they were not made in a factory? The person that automatically falls into whatever trend is popular, despite their insistence that it was "the absolute worst thing ever"just last week? The person that dresses exactly like the boss for a raise? Congratulations, you've met the iconic "fake person" in your life. Everything that they say sounds scripted and it just drives you insane because you can't call them out on it without sounding like a jerk.
9. Being judged
Leaving the house in a new outfit, especially as a woman, can inspire quite a few sideways looks and uncomfortable conversations. Sure, that new dress may not be the best thing for your body type and it may fit just a little weird but you think you look amazing! Isn't that all that matters? That we feel good in an outfit? Don't we wear clothes for our own comfort and confidence, and not that of others? Channel your inner Stewie next time and flaunt your confidence with style.
10. Ranting
Just like hobbies, everyone has their "thing." You know, the thing that we like to rant about without end? That thing you can go on and on about for hours without repeating your contentions against it? That one. No matter how much somebody tries to convince you, you will never love it but sometimes you have to play nice and keep quiet. Refrain from making any Stewie comments here. When in doubt, keep your hate for a later date.
11. Listening to other people rant
So maybe this is a little hypocritical but it's definitely relatable. Since everybody has their own "thing," there have definitely been a few times that you have listened to a rant that you really don't care about. Maybe you're even listening to a long-winded story about something (or someone) you don't really care about. Whatever the case, keep your comments to yourself until the person runs out of steam. Meanwhile, take this time to practice your ABC's backwards, count the tiles on the ceiling, or maybe even memorize the "Family Guy" theme song in Portugese. These rants can be long, people.
12. Managing a caffeine addiction
Caffeine is technically a drug. Naturally, this means that caffeine is not only addictive but offers a set of withdrawal side effects. Sure, they're not as bad as those from hard drugs but brain fogs and headaches seriously suck. To make matters worse, your lack of energy means you can't think or see straight but, nevertheless, people are asking you to do things. Perhaps you should join Stewie for a cup of joe after nap time.
13. Losing your mom in the grocery store
One of the worst childhood fears that never really goes away is that moment of sheer panic when you turn around in the cereal aisle and your mom is suddenly nowhere to be found. Even at nineteen years old, you roam the dairy aisles with frantic thoughts about being raised by cheese sticks now that your mother has abandoned you. Don't worry, Stewie knows exactly what to do. Walking around and screaming "Mom" until you've beckoned every maternal figure in the county works every time.
14. Being a college student
You haven't slept in a week, you have a mountain of homework to do, a marathon of meetings to attend, and a two-month old pile of laundry that you have to do. Your blood is 33% coffee, 33% Ramen Noodles, and 33% stress. Welcome to college. The panic room is in the basement and the stale free pizza is in the fridge.
15. Encountering unexpected changes
Change can be great but, when it gets down to it, nobody really likes change...at least not at first. It's scary, it's new, you're not really sure what it means or how long it will stay, and you definitely were not prepared for all of these emotions. Don't panic! It's part of life and, just like Stewie, you're going to have to learn that this means dealing with change, ready or not.
16. Getting your money back
Borrowing money is a dangerous habit and some people handle it better than others. On one hand, there are those that will pay you back within the hour. On the other, there are those that owe you enough money to fund a private college education and feed a small third-world country. At some point, enough is enough and you have to demand your money back. You have every right to that money that you were promised, so remind them that they owe you a small fortune! Just keep it peaceful, please.
No matter what your opinion of "Family Guy" or any of Seth Macfarlane's projects, you have to admit that at least one of these memorable Stewie moments made you say "yeah, I've been there."
The next time you find yourself criticizing the mindless entertainment that is broadcasted on late-night television, take a second to just watch. Let loose, have a laugh. Look at life like a kid again and just enjoy the fact that you don't have to think for more than a couple of seconds.
Just please, don't look at life like Stewie Griffin. The world cannot handle that much infantile rage at once.
