15 Things Floridians are Tired of Hearing
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Politics and Activism

15 Things Floridians are Tired of Hearing

The struggles of being "FloGrown" and dealing with those who aren't.

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15 Things Floridians are Tired of Hearing

1. "OMG you're so tan! Do you just like stay tan all year long?"I went home during Winter Break and (shocker) it was still hot and sunny, so I went in the sun. Therefore, I am tan. Had I stayed here all winter, no I would not be. 

2. "My grandparents live in West Palm/ Fort Lauderdale/ Naples." Surprisingly, people of a variety of ages also live in those places. So to answer your underlying question, no I'm not constantly surrounded by old people. 

3. "Do you just go to Disney all the time?" Personally, no, I don't have year-round passes. However, when I do decide to make the hike up to Orlando, it's overrun by tourists like you that make me remember why I chose not to buy said year-round passes.

4. "Have you ever seen an alligator?" Seeing as gators are native to my homeland, yes I have seen them. Yes they do sun in my neighbors' backyards. And finally, no I do not mean crocodile. 

5. "I'm so jealous of your snapchats from break!" Well I invited you to come home with me, but you didn't soooooooo...

6. "I bet Miami is so much fun at night!" If you like to spend obscene amounts of money, then yes Miami is fun. It's also fun if you like having old, bald men who chain smoke Cuban cigars hitting on you. 

7. "Have you ever seen snow?" As hard as it is to believe, sometimes Floridians actually like to get out of the heat and see what real winter looks like. I know I wouldn't believe that I knew how to ski or snowboard if I were you either.

8. "What do you mean you've never seen the leaves change?" Palm trees are evergreens. What don't you understand?

9. "I know Florida! I used to live in Jacksonville."Jacksonville is barely 30 minutes outside of Georgia, sorry not sorry, but that's not really knowing Florida.

10. "Why didn't you go to UF or UM?" Bright orange is a special color that just so happens to look absolutely awful on me.

11. "How many bathing suits do you own?" Plot twist: Floridians actually wear real clothes and real underwear, not just bathing suits all the time. So despite the fact that I probably do own more than you, bathing suits do not make up my entire wardrobe.

12. "Your hair must always be perfect and beachy!" Beachy hair is not perfect unless you love frizz, the stickiness of saltwater, and knots that take days to comb out.

13. "I wish I could spend my summer in Florida!" Have you ever looked at August temperatures in Florida? 

14. "But you must be used to the heat!" No one gets used to sweating in the 30 seconds it takes to walk from your front porch to your car door.

15. "Florida is part of the South." Although Florida was technically part of the Confederacy, most of Florida does not fit your idea of "southern." Florida is closer to being a Latin American country than it is to being the next Sweet Home Alabama.

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