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13 News Headlines That Wouldn't Be Surprising After The Week We've Had

The last few days have been an absolute fever dream and anything could happen next.

Emily Hiles

Oct 02, 2019

Fordham University

13 News Headlines That Wouldn't Be Surprising After The Week We've Had

Image from @NBCnews on Instagram

With the House's impeachment inquiry under way, each day seems to bring both endless possibility and roughly thirteen thousand 'breaking news' alerts from NBC. As the news gets more and more insane with each passing hour, here are 13 headlines that honestly wouldn't be all the surprising anymore.

BREAKING: List of people on Trump's call with the Ukrainian president now expanding to include Mike Pompeo, Kanye West, and one of those alligators he wanted to put at the border.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

Fox News Analysis: Did Democrats invent the entire nation of Ukraine to set up the president?

Image by Mabel Amber from Pixabay

BREAKING: Republicans ask why Hillary Clinton isn't also impeached, claim double standard.

Photo from @hillaryclinton on Instagram

Breitbart: 98% of self-proclaimed white supremacists stand with President Trump, so try to impeach that I guess.

Image from @realdonaldtrump on Instagram

President Trump releases fiftieth weird Twitter commercial of the week calling himself a national hero.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

BREAKING: Rudy Giuliani punches panelist in the face on live television.

Image from @politico on Instagram

Chris Wallace collapses from sheer exhaustion after carrying the entire remainder of Fox News' journalistic integrity on his shoulders.

Photo from @foxnewsunday on Instagram

THIS JUST IN: Kevin McCarthy loses his last shred of human dignity during 60 Minutes interview, resigns on the spot.

Photo from @repkevinmccarthy on Instagram

Mitch McConnell purportedly molting early due to excitement over the undermining of yet more democratic norms.

Photo from @senatemajldr on Instagram

BREAKING: Some conservatives still don't understand the concept of population density, point to empty rural counties as proof of support like that means literally anything.

Photo from Instagram @lynnepatton

Mike Pence employs the "he who smelt it dealt it" defense to prove that Democrats are worthy of impeachment.

Photo from @politico on Instagram

On top of shooting migrants and installing moats, other Trump ideas for defending the border include Wakanda-style energy shields and switching the signs so migrants think they're actually LEAVING the US.

Photo from @johnstanmeyer on Instagram

BREAKING: The president tweeted out a Nickelback meme and dear God do I WISH I was joking.

Image from @realDonaldTrump on Twitter

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13 News Headlines That Wouldn't Be Surprising After The Week We've Had

The last few days have been an absolute fever dream and anything could happen next.

BREAKING: List of people on Trump's call with the Ukrainian president now expanding to include Mike Pompeo, Kanye West, and one of those alligators he wanted to put at the border.

Fox News Analysis: Did Democrats invent the entire nation of Ukraine to set up the president?

BREAKING: Republicans ask why Hillary Clinton isn't also impeached, claim double standard.

Breitbart: 98% of self-proclaimed white supremacists stand with President Trump, so try to impeach that I guess.

President Trump releases fiftieth weird Twitter commercial of the week calling himself a national hero.

BREAKING: Rudy Giuliani punches panelist in the face on live television.

Chris Wallace collapses from sheer exhaustion after carrying the entire remainder of Fox News' journalistic integrity on his shoulders.

THIS JUST IN: Kevin McCarthy loses his last shred of human dignity during 60 Minutes interview, resigns on the spot.

Mitch McConnell purportedly molting early due to excitement over the undermining of yet more democratic norms.

BREAKING: Some conservatives still don't understand the concept of population density, point to empty rural counties as proof of support like that means literally anything.

Mike Pence employs the "he who smelt it dealt it" defense to prove that Democrats are worthy of impeachment.

On top of shooting migrants and installing moats, other Trump ideas for defending the border include Wakanda-style energy shields and switching the signs so migrants think they're actually LEAVING the US.

BREAKING: The president tweeted out a Nickelback meme and dear God do I WISH I was joking.

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Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

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3. Do you have any siblings?

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5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

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Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

A bad day at the lake is still better than a good day not at the lake.

You know the best beaches and coves to go to.

You have no patience for the guy who can't back his trailer into the water right.

Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake Zone" a piece of your mind.

You have no problem with peeing in the water.

You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

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Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

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2. I am not just a number at my school.

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5. My professors know me and I feel that I can easily communicate with them.

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4. Sixteen Candles

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