With the House's impeachment inquiry under way, each day seems to bring both endless possibility and roughly thirteen thousand 'breaking news' alerts from NBC. As the news gets more and more insane with each passing hour, here are 13 headlines that honestly wouldn't be all the surprising anymore.
BREAKING: List of people on Trump's call with the Ukrainian president now expanding to include Mike Pompeo, Kanye West, and one of those alligators he wanted to put at the border.
Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay
Fox News Analysis: Did Democrats invent the entire nation of Ukraine to set up the president?
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BREAKING: Republicans ask why Hillary Clinton isn't also impeached, claim double standard.
Photo from @hillaryclinton on Instagram
Breitbart: 98% of self-proclaimed white supremacists stand with President Trump, so try to impeach that I guess.
Image from @realdonaldtrump on Instagram
President Trump releases fiftieth weird Twitter commercial of the week calling himself a national hero.
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BREAKING: Rudy Giuliani punches panelist in the face on live television.
Image from @politico on Instagram
Chris Wallace collapses from sheer exhaustion after carrying the entire remainder of Fox News' journalistic integrity on his shoulders.
Photo from @foxnewsunday on Instagram
THIS JUST IN: Kevin McCarthy loses his last shred of human dignity during 60 Minutes interview, resigns on the spot.
Photo from @repkevinmccarthy on Instagram
Mitch McConnell purportedly molting early due to excitement over the undermining of yet more democratic norms.
Photo from @senatemajldr on Instagram
BREAKING: Some conservatives still don't understand the concept of population density, point to empty rural counties as proof of support like that means literally anything.
Photo from Instagram @lynnepatton
Mike Pence employs the "he who smelt it dealt it" defense to prove that Democrats are worthy of impeachment.
Photo from @politico on Instagram
On top of shooting migrants and installing moats, other Trump ideas for defending the border include Wakanda-style energy shields and switching the signs so migrants think they're actually LEAVING the US.
Photo from @johnstanmeyer on Instagram
BREAKING: The president tweeted out a Nickelback meme and dear God do I WISH I was joking.
Image from @realDonaldTrump on Twitter