Unless you don't like to have fun, you definitely have Snapchat. You have it synced with all the contacts in your phone even though you probably only communicate with a handful of them. It's evolved into a great app to chat with friends, and now with live stories, you can indulge in the world around you. Much like other social networks, each user has his or her unique usage style. That's what brings us here today. We all have at least one friend in our recently snapped list living one of the following Snapchat lifestyles:
1. The Android user.
If you're one of these friends, I respect you and your Droid. Whatever floats your boat, my man. However, I'm team Apple all the way. If you are an avid Snapchat videographer via Droid, then you are doing the art of Snap videos a huge disservice. Your video never quite meets anyone's expectations. Stick to the pics.
2. The Picasso of our generation.
They don't have to be great artists, but these friends are huge fans of the paint tool. I am definitely a paint supporter. It can enhance any Snap and take it from zero to 100 real quick. There's the opportunity to display wit and creativity that the camera can't capture on its own. Of course, its main purpose is to finish a clever caption when the width of your phone screen misses the mark.
3. The dog whisperer*.
I'm even guilty of the occasional "dog snap." I strategically send them to my dog-loving friends so that I don't disappoint my large Snapchat fan base. I do this out of love to avoid the repercussions of inappropriate Snapchat etiquette. But there are also the people who solely send Snaps of their dogs playing fetch, staring at them in the kitchen, running in a circle, eating food, etc. and maybe it's cute on occasion. However, there are more exciting sights to be snapped in the world.
*Dog is interchangeable with cat, bird, snake, hamster, hermit crab, plant, etc.
4. The illegible name that consists of 14 random consonants.
They are known for sending you what looks like mediocre clip art snaps with a caption congratulating you for winning a $50 McDonald's gift card. I don't know what I ever did to you, ydkljqpjdclkzv, but thanks for teasing me and my McChicken addiction.
5. The 300-second My Story offender.
I have nothing nice to say to you. I don't even know why we're friends. If it's a one time fluke, I can maybe understand. But until you Snapchat your entire NASA trip to the moon, I am not interested in your four minute My Story about you doing your laundry.
6. The next in line on the liver transplant list.
Everyone is friends with one. It may even be you, and if that's the case, I commend you for your wild lifestyle. This person might be a little bit of every Snapchatter. If he or she had a really good night, there may even be a 300-second My Story involved. These ones are doing something insane while going out every single night, but of course they're smart enough to only document their festivities for 24 hours.
7. The concert goer.
This special person has you asking yourself, “Wait there was a concert in town last night?” You either love them or you hate them; there's no in between. These are sometimes worth watching depending on the show because, as an avid music lover, you never know what you're going to see at a concert. Still, I'd say 99 percent of these Snaps are a bust. The sound quality is an absolute nightmare. If this is you, live in the moment at a show! Snapchats come and go, but memories last forever.
8. The screenshotter.
This friend is just plain dirty. You can't trust him or her despite it probably being one of your closest buddies. You've had to resort to measures such as shooting one-second Snaps or even taking them out of your usual Snapchat realm altogether. Remember you can always give them a taste of their own medicine. Payback's a bitch, but in a world where pictures aren't meant to be permanent, it may be necessary.
9. The friend without a face.
I still don't really understand this one. They refuse to take selfies, show their faces, and use the front-facing camera. All we know about them is what the inside of their houses and cubicles look like. And while I'm all for watching TV, I will do that on my own television, not on yours over Snapchat.
10. The lip sync superstar.
Alright, "superstar" is a loose term. In fact, it may be completely false. I don't know that the Snapchat world wants to see poorly sung songs while people jam out in their cars, but as long as these people don't two-time as 300-second My Story Snapchatters, then I'm okay with it.
11. The one-hit wonder.
This person, no matter what, without fail, "even if there's a fire," will always respond with the same exact facial expression. It's their signature Snapchat look, and nothing is going to change it. Maybe it's a weird teethy smile. Maybe it's “Blue Steel." There is no anticipation because we all know what's going to happen when we open your Snap: definitely not “Magnum.”
12. The world traveler.
These people really grind my gears. It's pure jealousy, really. One day, they're in front of the Eiffel Tower, and the next day, they're touring the Colosseum. I only ever want to respond asking them how much money they make and why I didn't get invited.
13. The mass Snapchatter.
As if we didn't already lose respect for them from their mass texting antics, then they go and mass Snapchat all their friends! Usually a member of your friend group, he or she will send everyone else in the friend group the same exact Snap. They should just go ahead and make it their My Story. It saves them the scrolling and selecting time, not to mention the shade you'll snap back to them when you find out they're a phony.
14. The worst kind of Snapchatter.
The issue with Snapchat is its read receipts; it's a bittersweet feature. It lets you know when the Snap exchange ends, but it also gives you mad anxiety. One of the worst Snapchat infringements you can make is not responding to a message. No one likes to associate themselves with an offender. There's nothing worse than sending an embarrassing Snapchat to the wrong friend – a friend with very capable hands (see “the screenshotter”). Maybe they'll respond, or maybe they won't. Whichever they choose, you will be fully aware of when they have opened your humiliating Snap.
