I am most likely one of the pickiest eaters in the whole world, and I have been since I was a small child. It's really not fun when life consists of worrying about going over to someone's house for dinner because you know you probably won't like what's being served (especially when you're meeting a boyfriend's/girlfriend's parents) or being judged when you just don't eat your food when served a preplanned group meal. I feel like I've heard it all at this point, so here are some of the most annoying things I've ever been asked/told. Friends, please don't say these things to me. I promise I didn't choose to have such specific taste buds.
The struggle is real.
1. "Did you have a traumatic experience with food when you were little or something?"
No. Just because I don't like certain foods does not mean that I was traumatized.
2. "Just pick it off."
While sometimes it is possible to salvage some food by scraping some of the gross creams and sauces off the top of it, pizza with pepperoni picked off of it does not taste the same as cheese pizza. The juice is still there. You can still taste it. Not the same.
3. "How do you know you won't like it if you've never tried it?"
Well, if looking at it and smelling it makes me think I'm going to be sick, I guarantee nothing good will happen if I actually put it in my mouth.
4. "But you should try it here, it's different here."
If I don't like a certain food in one place, I'm probably not gonna risk trying it again just because I'm in a different location.
5. "Are you sure your taste buds haven't changed by now?"
I PROMISE, THEY HAVEN'T CHANGED.
6. "If you don't eat your food, you're going to offend the waiter/chef."
Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure he would rather throw away a little bit of food than have to deal with me throwing it back up because I don't like it, so they can deal with it.
7. "Stop being so high maintenance."
Being picky does not mean I'm high maintenance. I would much rather have a meal at Whataburger or order a pizza than go to some fancy expensive restaurant and order meals that have way too much stuff on it for it to even taste good. Most of the time, I don't even mind just sitting at a meal and not eating anything because I don't want to be a bother to other people. Just mind your business and leave my eating habits alone.
8. "You can't live off of (insert favorite food here) forever."
Well I've lived 19 years off of chicken, pizza, and macaroni and cheese, so wanna bet?
9. "You order the same thing every time we come here, you should try something new."
When I find something I like, I tend to stick to it and appreciate it. So what if I'm predictable? You are more than welcome to order something new every time, but please just let me be.
10. "How can you not like ____? Everyone likes ____."
Well, unless I don't count as a person, obviously not everyone does. Pretty sure I'm not the only person in the world who doesn't like it.
11. "If you were really hungry, you'd eat it."
Actually, if my body physically will not let me swallow it, I can't. Plus if I'm really hungry, I would prefer whatever little food is already in my stomach to stay there instead of coming right back up with whatever food I didn't want to eat in the first place.
12. "You can't even taste the ____ in this dish."
That might be true. But if I don't like that food, and my brain knows that it's there, my gag reflex will not allow me to eat it. Sorry.
13. "That can't be healthy."
You're right. It's not. And I don't care. It's also not healthy for you to be so overwhelmingly concerned about my eating habits. Just let me live, please. I've survived this long.
