"No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people."

I'll be the first to admit, 13 Reasons Why affected me on a visceral level, making me uncomfortable in a way no show has done before. The week I spent watching it was a living hell, as the impression of it weighed heavy on my consciousness, butchering any zest for life. This show resurfaced feelings I thought I laid asphalt over years ago. Hello darkness, my old friend.

I felt pressured by popular culture to watch the show after learning of its mass controversy. First of all, I hated the premise, so my expectations were subterranean low. Just when I thought the limbo stick couldn't get any lower, the show still disappointed me. It was a chore sitting through the whole thing, not to mention a vital threat to my emotional health.

Before watching it, I formulated a stock answer as my reason for boycotting, saying it was "cavalier about suicide" and "romanticized suicide" (which it was, and it did). The title itself was problematic for me, a girl giving enumerated reasons why she killed herself, using other people as scapegoats for a decision she made herself. I understand that it's meant to be an anti-bullying campaign, but that narrative was quickly lost when the girl was shown slitting her wrists in the bathtub, a twisted way of glorifying suicidal acts. The show never explores mental degradation, but instead shows her merely as a victim of circumstance as if external factors are independent predictors of suicidal behavior.

The show had some decent qualities. The virtues of tolerance and acceptance, not invalidating other people's feelings, walking a mile in other people's shoes, and recognizing "warning signs" are good guiding principles for every high school student. However, the impact was tempered by the actual portrayal of suicide, and the subsequent suffering it inflicted on those around her, especially the "If I told her I loved her, she wouldn't have done it" guy.

The show bypasses the alleged premise of "teaching tormenters a lesson," using suicide as a revenge strategy on the people who bullied her. This arrogant tone is even further reinforced as responses to her suicide show it as an stimulus for others' egregious acts, even driving some to violence. I might give the show more latitude if it was coupled with a first-person approach from the people it affected around her, or if it had showed more of the mental health aspect of suicide. Instead, the show made her suicide seem like a rational, justifiable act, because students at her high school were assholes, and adults were self-willed and unhelpful. It also gives people the idea that if one commits suicide, others will finally see what a smart, beautiful, charismatic that person is. There's a million reasons why this is risky and wrongheaded.

Also, whether by accident or not, the show has become a social media nightmare. It inspired the vile "Welcome to your tape" memes with scant regard for the suicide issue. Twitter users are now saying they can't joke about suicide without someone taking them seriously or seeing it as an urgent need for assistance. Find something else to joke about, cretins. Imagine if you were drowning and before losing consciousness, you called for a flotation device, but everyone thought you were joking. It's the same thing.

Suicide warrants a greater public awareness and calculated preventative efforts. However, if you choose to talk about it, recognize how thorny of an issue it is. Anyone who wishes to make a frank statement about it is automatically in the crosshairs and is trudging through dangerous territory. Suicide must be treated with inch-perfect precision and sensitivity, or it can cause serious harm. If you publicly mishandle a suicide story, it can lead to what is known as a "suicide contagion." This means that if suicide is misrepresented or glamorized, it can spark suicidal thoughts in other people and result in "copycat suicides." It's like a subconscious reflex.

In case you were unaware, after the show aired, a spike was reported in calling rates to suicide prevention hotlines. The show put a trigger warning in its pilot episode saying suicidal people shouldn't watch the show. If that's the case, maybe the show's creators shouldn't be talking about suicide to begin with.