We all know the premise of "13 Reasons Why". It's a show about a young woman's suicide and the tapes she left behind each assigning blame for her suicide to her classmates who receive the tapes postmortem. In the first tape, she instructs each person to listen and to realize what they had done.
I remember reading the novel when I was young and thinking how clever the story was. But I also found myself bothered. Who wouldn't? The show is about suicide, after all. Being an educator and an artist, I had to ask myself "does turning this into a show make sense"? The answer is; yes and no. The yes is that it's entertaining and it does hit important topics teens need to be educated on. The big no is what I call "The 13 Reasons Why Problem".
Following the initial release of "13 Reasons Why", suicide ratings increased over the course of a year. This increase is what led the network to realize there was a "problem". Of course we can't blame a suicide rate increase on a single TV show. The problem is the content within that TV show, and how it went unaddressed for the first several months post release. The show inadvertently glamorizes suicide and convinces viewers that one will "live on" after they die. What Brian Yorkey (the scriptwriter) fails to acknowledge is that kids and teens are MUCH more influenced by TV than we think.
Art has an incredible impact on the viewers, regardless of the medium. When you're an impressionable teen who might be struggling, that influence rises because they want to be more like the people they see on TV. Hannah, the girl who commits suicide on the show, is painted as a saint or as someone who is always "around" even after death. It's as if she's this beautiful mythical goddess living life in the after world. They completely miss the point that death and suicide is permanent. The pain we feel in life is temporary which should be the lesson, but it gets lost in the drama.
In the promotion for the show (pictured above) the quote reads "why would a dead girl lie?" This introduces a whole new level to the "problem". By putting this question in the promotion we are basically sending the message to teens that they will be believed if they die/kill themselves and the people around them will feel sorry. This is a misconception that needs to be addressed. The quote isn't smart, creative, or innovative. It's potentially fatal and we have to acknowledge that.
"13 Reasons Why" has a way of teaching teens how the world works, but it doesn't teach them why they shouldn't leave it. Following the suicide increase and parental outrage, the network had a difficult time as to whether or not to pull the plug on the show. They ended up "justified" after A) making a one episode documentary on why these subjects are important to address on TV and B) issuing a disclaimer delivered by the show's actors before each episode. The disclaimer states that if you are struggling, the show may not be right for you, and that if you do watch it, you will be exposed to XYZ. They then took it one step further to provide a website containing resources for those who are struggling. The website is attached to their show's name because they knew it would eliminate leg work for someone hesitant to get help. This is smart. This helps. But is the "problem" too far progressed?
So how can we work to "fix" this problem? There's no clear answer, however, as a person who once struggled n her teen years, I have a few suggestions that could've helped me during that time:
1) Tell your children/students/relatives/friends that you believe them- It's not your job to investigate or to question the person who trusts you. It's your job to give them options and to be there for whatever they need.
2) Educate on the finality of death- Suicide is a final decision regardless of your personal or religious beliefs. Once you're jumping off that bridge or building you're jumping and that's it. It's important to acknowledge and reiterate that suicide should NEVER be an option.
3) Educate BOYS on how NOT to assault girls, not GIRLS on how NOT to get assaulted- This is a biggie. There are very graphic depictions of sexual assault in 13 Reasons Why. As an assault survivor, I found them to be a bit over the top. Regardless, it's still an important conversation and component of our culture that should be addressed in mediums that will capture a teen's attention (I.E. Netflix).
4) Include BOYS in the conversation when it comes to victim support- Yes, in 13 Reasons Why we also tackle a storyline of a male survivor of assault. It's important to crush the assumption that it will make him a certain way or that he's too weak. Anyone can be victimized and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
5) Give resources, but make sure that's not the only thing you give- Kids want more than pamphlets. They want compassion and to be told that everything will be okay. In my undergrad I saw so many professors and budding teachers with little to no compassion. This is part of why Hannah kills herself in the first season. She went to a trusted adult to give life one last try, and that adult (a counselor) failed her. If he had dug deeper and opened a dialogue for Hannah, perhaps she would have found herself in a psych unit instead of in the ground.
6) TV isn't real life. Tell them that.- One of the biggest conversations after the first season was released is how "glamorized" suicide ended up being. It's imperative we explain to kids and teens that what they see on TV is NOT real life and if they need help, real people are waiting in the wings to help them.
7) Prove that breaking down barriers is POSSIBLE and NECESSARY- Cliques, jocks, nerds, preps, whatever it may be, our culture has introduced cliques starting at a very young age. If we can teach kids that breaking down barriers is what's "cool", then the dialogues will begin and they'll learn to listen to each other. This practice is taught, not inherited.
If we as a society (and as individuals) can dedicate ourselves to doing these 7 things in some capacity, we can slowly but surely begin to fix the "13 Reasons Why Problem".
