13 Legitimately Awful Christmas Presents You Should Never Give, Ever

13 Legitimately Awful Christmas Presents You Should Never Give, Ever

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

After seeing article after article about what to get people for Christmas, I decided it would be fun to write the exact opposite. So here is a list of horrible Christmas presents, thought up by yours truly :)

I wouldn't wish these presents upon my greatest enemies... OK, maybe a few people.

Merry Christmas.

1. All the "Shrek" movies, but in Russian

2. A tooth tunes toothbrush

Merry Christmas. I got you a toothbrush that sings "All Star" while you brush your teeth.

(This present would go perfectly with the Shrek movie series!!!)

3. A baseball hat with Dick Wolf's name on it

"And these are their stories" *DUH-Dun*

4. The Bee Movie soundtrack on vinyl

5. A pamphlet on mesothelioma

Something for you or a loved one.

6. A bed comforter with the cast of Jersey Shore on it

Classiest group of individuals that have ever walked among us.

7. A plethora of VHS tapes

RIP to these retro rectangles. A perfect present for your least favorite millennial since they will most likely have no clue what this is.

8. Kermit the Frog-inspired jewelry

Why is this even a real thing??

9. A giant cut-out poster of Ted Cruz

I couldn't find a not terrifying gif of Ted Cruz, so here's Kevin from the Office. Basically the same person, right?

10. Anything Nickelback

Wow, this is truly the meanest/best insult I have ever heard.

11. A collage of their cringy middle school pictures

^ ^ ^ Genuine cringey middle school pictures.

Not to be dramatic but if someone gave me this for Christmas I'd probably flee the country just out of sheer embarrassment.

12. Heelys but with no wheels

That's just taking it too far. Absolutely heartless.

13. A 30-hour recording of Bill Clinton's famous line:

Cover Image Credit: Warner Bros. TV

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'Baby, It's Cold Outside' Is NOT About Date Rape, It's A Fight Against Social Norms Of The 1940s

The popular Christmas song shouldn't be considered inappropriate.


The classic Christmas song "Baby, It's Cold Outside" has recently come under attack. There has been controversy over the song being deemed as inappropriate since it has been suggested that it promotes date rape. Others believe that the song is another common example of our culture's promotion of rape. You may be wondering, where did they get that idea from?

The controversy has led to one radio station, WDOK, taking the song off the air and banning it from their station. Some people believe that this song goes against the #MeToo movement since it promotes rape. However, people are not considering the fact that this traditional Christmas song was made in the 1940s.

People are viewing the song from a modern-day cultural perspective rather than from the perspective of the 1940s. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" was written in 1944. Many people have viewed the song from the perspective of our cultural and social norms. People believe that the song promotes date rape because of lyrics that suggest that the male singing is trying to stop the female singer from leaving, and the female singer is constantly singing about trying to escape with verses like "I really can't stay" or "I've got to go home."

When you first view the song from the perspective of today's culture, you may jump to the conclusion that the song is part of the date rape culture. And it's very easy to jump to this conclusion, especially when you are viewing only one line from the song. We're used to women being given more freedom. In our society, women can have jobs, marry and be independent. However, what everyone seems to forget is that women did not always have this freedom.

In 1944, one of the social norms was that women had curfews and were not allowed to be in the same house as a man at a later time. It was considered a scandal if a single woman so much as stayed at another man's house, let alone be in the same room together. It's mind-blowing, right? You can imagine that this song was probably considered very provocative for the time period.

"Baby, It's Cold Outside" is not a song that encourages date rape, but is actually challenging the social norms of society during the time period. When you listen to the song, you notice that at one part of the song, the female states, "At least I can say that I tried," which suggests that she really doesn't want to leave. In fact, most of the song, she is going back and forth the whole time about leaving stating, "I ought to say no…well maybe just a half a drink more," and other phrases.

She doesn't want to leave but doesn't really have a choice due to fear of causing a scandal, which would have consequences with how others will treat her. It was not like today's society where nobody cares how late someone stays at another man's house. Nowadays, we could care less if we heard that our single neighbor stayed over a single man's house after 7. We especially don't try to look through our curtain to check on our neighbor. Well, maybe some of us do. But back then, people did care about where women were and what they were doing.

The female singer also says in the lyrics, "The neighbors might think," and, "There's bound to be talk tomorrow," meaning she's scared of how others might perceive her for staying with him. She even says, "My sister will be suspicious," and, "My brother will be there at the door," again stating that she's worried that her family will find out and she will face repercussions for her actions. Yes, she is a grown woman, but that doesn't mean that she won't be treated negatively by others for going against the social norms of the time period.

Then why did the male singer keep pressuring her in the song? This is again because the song is more about challenging the social norms of the time period. Both the female and male singers in the song are trying to find excuses to stay and not leave.

On top of that, when you watch the video of the scene in which the song was originally viewed, you notice that the genders suddenly switch for another two characters, and now it's a female singer singing the male singer's part and vice versa. You also notice that the whole time, both characters are attracted to one another and trying to find a way to stay over longer.

Yes, I know you're thinking it doesn't matter about the genders. But, the song is again consensual for both couples. The woman, in the beginning, wants to stay but knows what will await if she doesn't leave. The male singer meanwhile is trying to convince her to forget about the rules for the time period and break them.

In addition, the complaint regarding the lyric "What's in this drink?" is misguided. What a lot of people don't understand is that back in 1944, this was a common saying. If you look at the lyrics of the song, you notice that the woman who is singing is trying to blame the alcoholic drink for causing her to want to stay longer instead of leaving early. It has nothing to do with her supposed fear that he may have tried to give her too much to drink in order to date rape her. Rather, she is trying to find something to blame for her wanting to commit a scandal.

As you can see, when you view the song from the cultural perspective of the 1940s, you realize that the song could be said to fight against the social norms of that decade. It is a song that challenges the social constrictions against women during the time period. You could even say that it's an example of women's rights, if you wanted to really start an argument.

Yes, I will admit that there were movies and songs made back in the time period that were part of the culture of date rape. However, this song is not the case. It has a historical context that cannot be viewed from today's perspective.

The #MeToo movement is an important movement that has led to so many changes in our society today. However, this is not the right song to use as an example of the date rape culture.

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Sorry, But The 'War On Christmas' Isn't A Thing

Stop trying to make the war happen, you Grinch. It isn't going to happen.


Ever since Donald Trump won the presidency, some have been saying that it's okay to celebrate Christmas again.

To this, I ask: Were you not celebrating Christmas before this administration?

Jordan Klepper has a great video in which he interviewed people at a Trump rally and asked them what was normalized under the new administration (2:01 in the video). Two women said Trump has made it 'okay again' to be a Christian and to say 'Merry Christmas.'

I understand what they mean by people saying 'Happy Holidays' being 'too PC', but it's not like Christmas doesn't take up 1/6th of the year. It's practically forced down our throats the moment Halloween ends.

In fact, keeping 'Christ' in Christmas is quite easy when there are blow-up nativity scenes on people's front lawns and songs played over and over on the radio about Christ's birth. You can never forget the 'reason for the season' because it is constantly in your face this time of year. Side note: Something we both can agree on? Commercialism is killing Christmas. That's a whole other issue.

The most significant problem I have with people saying there's a 'war on Christmas' is the fact there was never a war, to begin with. Acting like you're a marginalized group when you are the largest denomination of any religion in this country is childish.

A study done by Pew Research center in 2014 showed if there were only 100 citizens in the U.S., there would be 71 Christians compared to two Jewish people and one Muslim person. To say Christmas is coming under fire from other religious denominations is absurd because there is not enough of any other one religion to declare war on the entire population of Christians in this country.

I apologize for the angry tone of this article, but I truly do not understand why there must be this underlying rage at Christmas time to 'keep Christ in Christmas.' Let's all be joyful and happy that this time of year involves people coming together for one purpose in gratitude and cheer.

Keep the happiness at Christmas.

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