All-Time Favorite Jokes | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Featured

13 All-Time Favorite Jokes

Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day!

Katie Colwell
Sep 27, 2023
Oakland University
39918
smiling woman wearing gray hoodie
Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

I consider myself a master of jokes. In my time, I have accumulated many knock knock jokes, puns, and classic dad jokes. So here for you are my absolute favorite that will be sure to get people to either laugh or groan.


1. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

full-moon betta fish Photo by Kyaw Tun on Unsplash

This one is my go-to. It never fails to get a laugh. Pro tip: Extend the sh a bit, it really makes the joke.


2. How do billboards talk?

Selective focus photography of jolly woman using peace hand gesture Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Sign language

Lol, get it? Because billboards are signs.


3. What do you call a bagel that can fly?

A plain bagel

assorted doughnuts & baggelsa Photo by Alice Pasqual on Unsplash



4. Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 then they would be called chicken sedans.

brown hen on brown wooden fence Photo by Tom Ungerer on Unsplash

This one is so bad it's good.


5. How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

black and yellow lego minifig Photo by Márton Szalai on Unsplash

Walking. J.K. Rowling

This is a personal favorite and not just because I love Harry Potter. I usually cannot get to the punch line with out falling over laughing. Trust me, I have witnesses. Pro tip: You should add a pause between "walking" and "J.K. Rowling." It adds some necessary suspense.


6. Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

white and blue paper on pink surface Photo by Olga Thelavart on Unsplash


This is perfect if you are a common jokester. People will be expecting something bad and get something worse.


7. *Points to graveyard* people are just dying to get in there.

gray concrete cross on green grass field during daytime Photo by Waldemar on Unsplash

8. A giraffe and a man walk into a bar. The giraffe falls down and the man asks, "why you lying?" The giraffe says, "I'm not a lion, I'm a giraffe!"

brown and white giraffe Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash

I assume the giraffe was pretty offended.


9. What time is it? "It's 2:30." Well, you should go to the dentist if you're tooth-hurty.

person holding brown and white round ornament Photo by Amr Taha™ on Unsplash



10. You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you are American when you come out. But what are you when you're in there?

European

man in blue crew neck shirt under blue sky during daytime Photo by Henri Lajarrige Lombard on Unsplash

11. Knock knock. "Who's there?" You're up. "You're up who?" No, you're a poo.

a pair of masks on a green surface Photo by Elena Rabkina on Unsplash

You really got to unlock your inner child for this one.


12. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

6 Reasons Why Betta Fish Make The Best Petshttps://pixabay.com/en/animal-nature-fish-water-wi...

It's all in the delivery.


13. What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?

brown coated monkey on branch Photo by Jamie Haughton on Unsplash

BA-NA-NA-NA

This here is a classic. Pro tip: You really got to get into the BANANANA. Pretend to play the piano, really nail the NANANA. Bonus points if you do it on a table or have an actual banana.

So here you are, folks. My all time favorite and best jokes. Use them wisely.

jokes
Report this Content
Featured

AI music threatens creativity

The Soul of Sound: How AI Challenges Human Expression in Music

290580
Humans and robots face off in a rock band battle with guitars and drums, under dynamic lighting.
StableDiffusion

In an age where artificial intelligence can mimic the voice of Freddie Mercury or reimagine pop hits as synthwave ballads, a new frontier has emerged — one that blurs the line between innovation and erosion. While AI offers undeniable benefits in technical domains, its intrusion into creative arts, especially music, raises urgent questions. Not just about copyright, but about culture, education, and the very soul of artistic expression.


Keep Reading...Show less
ai generated music
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

Miami University
624334
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
music
Entertainment

Why Your Astrological Sign May Not Match Your Personality

We are all more than just one sign.

SUNY Plattsburgh
538865
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
astrology
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

UNC Greensboro
517078
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
spring
Relationships

The Importance Of Being A Good Person

An open letter to the good-hearted people.

Sacred Heart University
791009
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
good person

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments