In the beginning of the summer, I got my first and second tattoos: a small cat head on my left hand and two daisies on my right ankle. I didn't tell many people about them, mostly because I go to school out of state and don't see many of my friends over the summer. So you can imagine the surprise my friends got when I went back to school in August. To many co-workers, acquaintances, fellow students and complete strangers, my tattoos completely and utterly confused them so much that they had to ask me or say some of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. If you have tattoos, I'm sure you've heard some of these things in your first few months of getting your ink.
1. "Is that a tattoo?"
No, I just have a flower-shaped mole.
2. "Is that real?"
Actually, I just draw it on myself with a marker every morning.
3. "Is that a(n) 'insert random item that is not at all what my tattoo is'?"
No; it's not a spider, it's a cat.
4. "Did it hurt?"
It was actually quite relaxing, the feeling of a needle drilling into my skin.
5. "I really want to get a tattoo, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet."
Right, just like how I haven't gotten around to doing my laundry yet this week. Same thing.
6. "I'd be too scared to get a tattoo; I'm terrible at commitment."
Tell your therapist, honey, not me.
7. "Was it scary?"
Have you seen It?
8. "My parents would disown me if I got a tattoo."
Actually, my mom is the one who told me to get it (not sarcasm).
9. "Don't you know that's going to be on your body for the rest of your life?"
Wait, are you serious?! Thank God you warned me after I already got it! I didn't take that into consideration at all when making this decision.
10. "Are you going to get more?"
I don't know, are you gonna tell me a completely personal part of your future?
11. "I never thought you would get a tattoo."
You thought wrong, bitch.