There are two kinds of people in this world: those who love Halloween and those who simply don't tolerate it. I am one of those people that simply can't stand it because it stresses me out even more than a college exam does... which is a lot. Here is my reasoning.
1. Dressing up means that anyone can look like ANYONE.
In a world where I already find it hard enough to trust people or feel safe walking at night, this holiday only encourages the mischievous behavior we are so often trying to avoid. Plus, costumes, in general, are just over the top scary sometimes...
2.The slut-shaming and anti-slut-shaming that undoubtedly comes along with some costumes.
Why would Halloween stores sell slutty costumes if people aren't going to wear them? Of course, the DIY costume is always a way to go, but sometimes a store-bought costume is easier...and people shouldn't get judged for simply choosing from what options were available. Women have been dressing up in deliberately provocative costumes on Halloween for as long as I can remember. I don't know why. And "why" doesn't matter anyway because I hope it makes them feel beautiful or empowered, or whatever they're hoping to get out of it.
3. Scary movies: I AM scared of them.
Scared is an understatement at that. I am absolutely terrified of horror movies. I already have scary enough nightmares, I don't need any more creepy ideas put in my head.
4. Trick-or-treating is stressful.
You never know it is going to walk up to your door and ask for candy.. or even worse, play a trick on you. There are so many movies about trick-or-treaters that are not actually there for that reason... and that is a painstakingly real fact to keep in mind over Halloween. You NEVER know what people's true intentions are, so watch out.
5. CLOWNS.
I'm sorry, but the movie "It" may not have been scary to you, but it sure as hell was scary for me. I couldn't even finish the preview. AND not to mention that I was already terrified of sewer drains BEFORE watching the preview... You can put money down I won't be walking near/over one of those anytime soon.
6. The candy being passed out may not even actually be candy...
I know that when I was a little kid, my mom would sort through it all first to make sure that nothing was already open. She'd throw away anything handmade (food-wise), and for the longest time, I didn't understand the logic behind that. But now, I'm like NO HANDMADE THINGS FOR YOUUUU. It's scary. People could lace your candy with drugs or poison... and that's no exaggeration.
7. Every year, billions of pumpkins are brutally killed and carved solely for the purpose of temporary entertainment.
Pumpkins were originally carved into Jack-O-Lanterns to keep the evil spirits away... That's enough information for my skin to be crawling. We are all participating in a horrifying tradition that has to do with EVIL spirits. #ScaryAFIfYouAskMe
8. It's literally a holiday dedicated to horror... HORROR.
As I mentioned earlier, Halloween can become quite deadly in a matter of seconds. No wonder I have to look in my backseat each time I get into my car...
9. People suddenly think that these kinds of car pranks are hilarious, instead of genuinely troubling to see when you're driving.
10. In a Haunted House, you are PAYING SOMEONE to traumatize you.
WHY. WOULD. YOU. EVER. DO. THIS. It's not fun to go to a Haunted House if you're just going to laugh at everything because it's "dumb" or doesn't scare you.... so please enlighten me on how it is more fun to have the shit scared out of you???? I'll wait.
11. Halloween decorations are both creepy and disgusting themselves.
Why dress up when your own house can scare people for you??
Admit it.... Halloween is unnecessarily scary. We all know it's true... and now you all know that I'll be hiding in my room at the end of this month. Yep, brb crying.
