Summer is approaching! Who's excited? I definitely am, though, there is a slight annoyance that those of the less fortunate in the chest department have to deal with when the season's change. Although performing tactics to look like you have a chest seem a little ridiculous, at least we can strap up together and relate.
1. Strapless bras.
Sure, the convenience of this product may hide unappealing straps, but, by the end of the night, mine usually falls down to my belly button.
“There is nothing to hold this bra up…maybe my ribs, actually, but other than that, I got nothing”.
2. Formal dresses that require sticky boobs.
3. You can never purchase a classic triangle bikini top because you look like your 7-year-old brother.
Yep, I’ve always wanted to just tie on a halter strapped bikini top and be on my merry way to the beach or pool, but that doesn’t happen, because if it did, I'd be constantly laying on my stomach trying to disguise the lack of boobs that I see, even though I’m probably the one who thinks about this the most.
4. Push up bras are just so warm…
Sure, that extra padding is super nice. It helps you out a lot, but when the humidity is high, and you’re outside chasing around the kids you nanny, you do not want anything, especially two mini pillows, attached to your chest.
5. Your significant other questions where exactly your boobs went when you take off said bra…
Sorry babe, at least they looked good in my outfit?? Ultimately though, if they care that much other than making a simple joke about it, they’re not worth your time.
6. Band-aids just don’t do you any justice.
That awesome new backless shirt that you can’t wear a bra with? Yeah, you’re going to have to figure something out other than Band-aids, because they do absolutely nothing except leave two marks on your chest. We may need to bring in professionals (i.e. Kylie Jenner).
7. Kylie Jenner’s tips work until you start to sweat (See #2 sticky bra issue).
8. Bras that are supposed to help you feel more confident are the most expensive bras and you find yourself working a second job to support your VS habit.
9. Nude colored push up bras that are required for your outfit don’t match your skin tone anymore…
Sure, I love being tan, but you can see my straps are clearly more of a dirt colored peach than a golden brown that the majority of my body is sporting.
10. Sports bras are cool and all…
but if I don’t buy one without at least bathing suit padding, I am susceptible to showing parts of me that I don’t want to show, but I also don’t want to sweat even more than I already do with the pillow-like sports bras they make now, so it’s really a catch 22.
11. You fall absolutely in love with a sundress but realize you don't fill it out.
"I'm just a little upset"
Basically, although we have to go through some serious measures like taping, herding, and pushing our chests together, there are ways to help us girls who run the IBTC. So, we should be thankful...or we could just go braless, either way, we’re still beautiful :)
