At one point in time, you’ve found yourself sipping whiskey straight and reading Ernest Hemingway in silence. You detest shopping malls and the inhabitants therein. You often find yourself raising an eyebrow and grumbling at the loud, enthusiastic antics of freshmen. You prefer classic rock and singer-songwriters to, I believe they’re known as Fetty Wap and a Childish Gambino? Your wardrobe is dominated by subtle, distinguished plaid flannel shirts as opposed to cocky, fluorescent Nike T-shirts. If any of this sounds familiar you’re most likely what they call an “old soul,” or in my particular case, a 21-year-old, (often) grumpy old man.
While being a grumpy old man does tend to have a negative connotation, there’s no need to fret. We youthful curmudgeons do have a champion in the form of Nick Miller from the TV show "New Girl." Miller, as portrayed by Jake Johnson, is a 30-year-old bartender although he passed the bar exam. He’s got a playful love affair with alcohol, an aversion to most social situations, and a lovably awkward air around him at all times. The following is a quick, visual guide explaining how Nick Miller is not only the champion of old young men everywhere, but also my spirit animal.
1. We’re very selective and out-of-date, but passionate about our jams.
2. Grumpiness leads to unjustified anger at inanimate, undeserving objects.
3. We’re far too awkward and curmudgeonly for this thing called “dancing.”
4. Feelings aren’t to be discussed voluntarily.
5. While we behave like grumpy old men, the real world and adult responsibilities just aren’t that appealing.
6. We’re easily mocked by those closest to us.
7. Self-reflection means slight delusions of grandeur, but we retain the manliest of aspirations.
8. Physical fitness involves unorthodox strategies and more positive thinking than anything.
9. Pep talks sometimes take a turn for the aggressive, mostly unintentionally.
10. Sometimes we feel a little more accomplished with ourselves than we should.
