1. How often am I supposed to wash this VBS shirt??

I know we are supposed to wear it every day, but do I wait until laundry day? Do I wash this thing every night? Is everyone else washing it every night? I barely even broke a sweat in this sucker, I can totally go until Wednesday without washing this. Oh we have to wear it on Sunday too?

2. I've definitely perfected my "I'm speaking to a small child" voice.

Slightly higher pitch, slightly slower frequency, crushed it. Does this really help them understand me better?? I'm pretty sure every single human being in all the history of all existence talks in the "kid voice" to kids. You just have to. It's science. I think.

3. Where are the snacks?

Break room anybody?? I just really need a sandwich or a hot dog, bonus points if it's served by the senior ladies. Cookies? Cupcakes? I need sweets because the children certainly aren't curing my sweet tooth, not with those attitudes.

4. Can I take a break yet?

My "kid voice" is exhausting and I can only say, "please don't do that," so many times before my eyeballs fall out. I need to sit down. In an adult-sized chair. So both of my butt cheeks can sit at the same time. Was my butt really that small at one point? Man, I've really let myself go.

5. Why are these kids asking so many questions?

My favorite question I've been asked so far is what's my husband's name? Excuse me miss kindergartener how old do you think I am?!? His name is Ryan Gosling. No I don't know what your mommy is making for dinner. No I don't know which parent is picking you up. No I don't know if you're gonna get to go to the park this week. We literally just met, I seriously don't know the intricate details of your life!

6. Am I crushing this choreography or what?

Let's all just admit right here right now that the VBS songs are straight fire. And the dance moves? Genius. I wish I could've busted some of those bad boys out at prom. I don't understand why these kids can't keep up, it's just way too groovy to fall behind.

7. Okay, this craft is super unrealistic.

You want them to glue what, where??? They can barely hold the scissors I don't think they can use them. Glitter? No. Confetti? No. Hot glue? Absolutely not. Can we PLEASE for the love of clean-up crew stick to popsicle sticks and washable markers?? You know what they say, Crayola is a girl's best friend.

8. Why won't they just all be quiet at the same time?

Silence? Not a chance. Three straight hours of a noise louder than I think my car stereo is even physically capable of going. Bass and everything. Boy, do these kiddos have some solid pairs of lungs. Grace abounds, but would you mind using your inside voice?

9. Are there actually this many members at my church?

Let's be honest, I've never seen half of these people in all of my life and I was basically born in a pew (the back row of course #BackRowBaptist). People really come out of the woodwork for vacation bible school. Where are all you people when the preschool ministry is down 16 volunteers on Sunday morning??

10. Can we please do this again next year?

No matter how sticky and stressful small children are, they are honestly adorable. Full of energy, awe, excitement, and giggles. God calls us to try and view Him as they do, with a childlike faith.

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:2-4

What a joy and privilege it is to be stewards of such rich and powerful news!!! Even the tiniest of ears deserve to hear the life-changing message of the gospel! May the next generation of godly, biblical men and women be found in Christ one VBS at a time.