Have you heard Kesha's song "Praying"? For me, it has really helped me through one of the hardest time of my life. You should listen to it if you haven't before and even if you have, listen to it again!
1. "I can thank you for how strong I have become."
Without the hurt and the break that you caused I never would have gone through what I went through and I came out so much stronger on the other side. So thank you because thanks to you I am so much stronger mentally and emotionally.
2. "I had to learn how to fight for myself."
Being alone and not having someone by my side all the time taught me to fight for myself in so many ways. I learned new coping skills because I had to calm myself down during my anxiety attacks. I learned how to be by myself and to deal with the hard things in life alone.
3. "I am proud of who I am."
If you would have asked if I was proud of myself three months ago, I would have said absolutely not. Today I am so proud of where I am at in life, in my recovery and with the Lord. I've grown so much in these last six months and I can actually say that I am proud of who I am.
4. "No more monsters, I can breath again."
This is my absolute favorite line in the whole song. When I finally moved on and was able to get rid of you it was like a weight off my chest and I could breathe again. When I got my diagnosis of BPD while in the hospital it was like I was finally able to understand a lot from my past and it was so relieving that I cried. My monsters aren't fully gone and I can finally breathe again.
5. "The best is yet to come."
Hope that's what I hear when I hear this line. Even with everything that has happened in the past it was all leading you to something great and the best still hasn't found us yet...(however, I may have just found mine)... So just remember that the best is yet to come and you will get it one day.
6. "I found a strength I've never known."
You left, I hit rock bottom and had to find a way out and when I did I also found strength. Strength I never knew I could have on my own and now I do and it feels amazing
7. "When I'm finished they won't even know your name."
One day you will just be a distant memory the heartbreak I'll tell my daughter when she has her first heartbreak and never will she know your name. I'll stop telling stories about you because all my memories won't involve you. No one in my house will mention you or your family again, I'll stop visiting your mom's Facebook page because oh how I miss that baby sister of yours. One day you will be a distant memory and I'll fight to remember your name or even what you look like.
8. "Told me I was nothing without you"
You may not have said this directly and you sure as hell implied it the last time we really talked. Oh, how you wish this was true and the truth is I am on top of the world and I don't need you and never did all you did was hold me back. The joke is on you because I am so happy with where I am in my life right now.
9. "I've been thrown out, I've been burned."
In the live version of the song this line is "I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain". Both these line speak wonders to me because the first one is her talking about what happened to her and she still overcame it just like I have. Whereas with the second line it's her and how powerful she is and how powerful we all are.
10. "I hope you find your peace."
I may not forgive you and I thank you so I hope you find your peace because I don't wish the worst on you. I am so happy with my life you deserve that happiness as well. However, you go about finding this peace I really do hope that one day you can find it and I hope that my impact on your life doesn't stay around for to long.
