Day 1: The Drug Deal. How an old Asian lady made me a sketchier person without even knowing it.

This is the story of my recent trip to Europe. Some of it is exaggerated, some of it is not. All of it may be made up, and yet, none of it may be. It is up to you to discern fact from fiction. However, the following are all based on actual events that transpired.

I just want to start off by saying that I hate flying only because it is so boring. People kept wishing me a safe flight, but what I really needed was a sane flight. Most of it was pretty boring, but some parts did end up becoming pretty interesting.      

My first flight from Tulsa to Dallas Fort Worth was uneventful as I just slept the whole flight. However, I woke up starving and I barely had enough time to get to my next flight so all I had time for was a blueberry bagel. On my next flight to Philadelphia, I slept for the entire flight, again. 

I had even less time for my next connecting flight. I had to speed walk and weave through crowds of people as I changed terminals to catch my flight. I got to my gate in record time, drenched in sweat, only to find out that my flight had been delayed. I was still starving, with no help from the blueberry bagel, so I went to Nori Japan to eat the food of my kinsmen. After satiating my hunger, I went and waited at my gate.  

Now I still had an hour until boarding, so I wondered, “How will I pass the time?” Then, an opportunity presented itself. I walked around trying to find something to do until I noticed that I was being followed. I pulled out my phone and took a selfie to check who it was behind me. It was the Asian lady that had sold me my dinner, still dressed in her work uniform. 

I didn't want trouble so I pretended not to notice her and walked faster. But for her age she could move pretty fast and caught up to me in no time. She said she had a favor to ask of me and led me to a deserted gate’s seating area. She looked like any old Asian woman tired from a long shift at Nori Japan. The odor of Americanized Chinese fast food permeated from her work apron. 

She had a proposition for me. After a lengthy confusing exchange due to the slight language barrier, I finally understood the gist of the deal. The job was for me to buy massive amounts of duty free alcohol and cigarettes, which you could only buy if you had a plane ticket, so she could smuggle them back out of the airport to make a decent profit off of them in Philadelphia. This works because duty free items are free from import tax and can cost anywhere from 5% to 25% cheaper. I had time to kill so I took the job for 5% of the purchasing price of the packages. 

In the store, I had to play it cool. I had to browse around for a little bit; I can’t just know exactly what I wanted as I walked into the store. The lady gave me a weird look as I entered the store as if she suspected something, but I played it off. I thought I got caught when I was making the purchase as they were asking where I was flying to with this large amount of alcohol and cigarettes. But I was used to this pressure and played it cool and got out smoothly. I headed back to the rendezvous point and dropped off the packages and left them there. As I walked back towards my gate, I passed by the lady and she handed me my wad of cash discreetly behind our backs as we walked past each other. 

Mission accomplished.