Your Own Worst Enemy

Your Own Worst Enemy

"Do you have the time, to listen to me whine--about nothing and everything all at once?".

Fran
Fran
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"Do you have the time, to listen to me whine--about nothing and everything all at once?"

Did you know according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, suicide is the third leading cause of death among individuals from age ten to about age twenty-four? In addition, fifty percent of mental illness begins by age fourteen and seventy-five percent by the age of 24.

For me, my biggest obstacle is getting out of my head. It takes just a little gesture or small innocent comment to send my anxious thoughts on a frenzy. Some of the most common symptoms are: feeling nervous, restless, or tense; trembling, sweating, and difficulty concentrating or thinking (Mayo Clinic). I've decided that I no longer wish to let my anxiety control my life—I still deal with my symptoms every day but I also continue daily activities of a "normal" twenty-two-year-old.

The wheels in my brain are always spinning. Just as soon as I think I've calmed myself down I'll remember something I was worrying about, a text exchange for example. Why aren't they answering my texts? Did I say something to make them mad? When in all reality they are just busy living their lives. Tip: If you know someone is dealing with anxiety; reassurance is one of the biggest alleviators of anxious thought.

I've been a people pleaser basically my entire life. I make things personal that don't need to be made personal. Anxiety finds your insecurities and feeds off of it. For me, it's a balance between recharging my batteries to making sure I'm not sitting and dwelling on nonsensical things. Let me tell you, anxiety is absolutely exhausting. On the days my anxiety has gotten the best of me I must decline invitations to be social, even though I know it might help boost my mood.

I am happy to see mental illness being brought up in the news. Mental illness has always had a negative stigma. Our society has reinforced this stigma time and time again. I find a little bit of relief after the suicide of Kate Spade. If someone as high profile as Kate Spade can battle with mental health and substance abuse issues—why is it unacceptable for a normal person like you or me to share their stories?

I will never stop talking about mental illness. My anxiety is only a piece of me, it does not define me. Most importantly, it does not define me because I do not allow it to define who I am. Yes, some of my personality traits coincide with my anxiety but it's who makes me who I am. I'm sorry if this upsets people but I've learned self-love and self-care are SO important and not just a person dealing with a medical condition like anxiety.


Ask me questions about my anxiety. Ask me how you can help me feel better during an anxiety state. Remind me that I'm a bright, sweet, and caring young woman destined to do great in the world. It may seem silly to you—but it's very important to me.

Cover Image Credit:

New Internationalist

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Me Saying I Don't Watch 'Game of Thrones' Is NOT Your Cue To Convince Me To Start

"Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you."

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Yes, I have flaws. We all do. But it seems as if though my biggest flaw is that I have never seen "Games of Thrones." Nope, not even one single second. I don't know why I haven't seen it, it's not that I'm particularly against the show. I guess it's just too late now for me to start it, as the premiere of the eighth and final season aired April 14th. And for some reason, I just feel that I'm too far behind to even attempt to start it.

But please, I beg of you, do not try to get me to watch it. I don't want to; I've made my decision that I have missed the "Game of Thrones" train and I have accepted my fate. It's OK, you can use your heavy TV series persuasion on someone else, don't waste it on me.

But not being a Thronie (I have no idea if you "Game of Thrones" fans actually use that term, but it's fine) comes with its own set of hardships. Yes, I know that missing out on "unquestionably the most acclaimed and beloved show on television" is probably the greatest hardship, I know, I know.

But trying to scroll through social media while seemingly every single person on my feed is posting about the show? Now that's hard. I see memes left and right, constant reaction videos, clips of scenes that I will never understand. I see people being shocked by certain characters doing certain things to certain other characters and I just cannot understand! It's tough, it really is. I feel like I'm in elementary school, sitting on the bench beside the playground watching all of the cool kids playing together. I feel excluded and uninvited to the party that is the "Game of Thrones" fandom.

It really is hard. It's difficult not understanding the jokes and comments about all the happenings in "Game of Thrones." But to those who are obsessed avid watchers, I apologize. I sincerely am sorry that I can never understand your "Game of Thrones" talk. I am sorry that my inferior self is not interested in your favorite show.

As some character that I will never know in "Game of Thrones" says, "once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you." I have accepted that my major flaw is the fact that I have never seen "Game of Thrones" and that I, unfortunately, have no interest in watching. So please, don't use it against me. Besides, that one character that I don't even know said that you can't anyway.

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A Review on "36 Questions: A Podcast Musical"

Jessie Shelton and Jonathan Groff Star in a Musical Podcast.
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“Jase Connelly, answer me honestly. Right now, given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?”

I’ve been listening to podcasts for about a year. I enjoy The Moth, the official Steven Universe podcast, and other storytelling podcasts. I found 36 Questions a couple weeks ago, and I haven’t been able to keep the songs out of my head! It is a podcast musical, meaning all of the music and sound effects are in the podcast, meaning it not supposed to be performed live. I am a huge fan of musicals, so just the phrase “podcast musical” had me ready to download it.

The premise is relatively simple. A couple attempts to complete 36 questions, a scientifically proven way to make people fall in love, or at least become closer. Judith and Jase have been married for a couple of years, before lies are discovered that challenge their relationship, as well as their values as a whole. The cast stars almost solely Jessie Shelton and Jonathan Groff. It also involves a duck named Henry, so if that’s not enough for you to want to listen to it, I don’t know what will be. Jessie Shelton is a musician and actor, while lesser known than her co-star, she is definitely talented. You may recognize Jonathan Groff from Hamilton, Glee, or as the voice of Kristoff from Frozen.

The story is engaging, and I found myself on the edge of my seat after the first two acts, figuratively speaking, of course. I was actually on walks while I was listening to the podcast. The story takes you on an emotional story that stays with you long after your first listen. I found myself considering my relationships in my life, and have now done the 36 questions with my girlfriend and step-dad. I hope Two-Up, the podcast who created the musical, writes more podcast musicals in the future, I look forward to listening!

Cover Image Credit: Bandcamp

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