I knew there was a problem at music school when my favorite class was creative writing. Here I was, following my grand plan and living my truth (or whatever you want to call it), and all I wanted to do was sit in the library and write. Sometimes I was consciously writing about myself, other times I would devise elaborate plots only to realize their subterranean meaning in hindsight, and other times it was abject nonsense. For our final project, we had to rework a fairy tale and write a minimum of eight pages. Three days of what I can only describe as some sort of caffeine-induced fever dream passed and I handed in a forty-page modernization of Tristan und Isolde. Was it completely unnecessary? Absolutely. At least, from an academic standpoint. But I found that writing provided more clarity and more of an opportunity to reflect than my daily stint in the practice room.
It sounds silly, but that project was very personal for me. It inspired me to return to a story I started when I was a sophomore in high school. It's nothing special - my own version of a silly love story - but for a while, I lost all motivation to continue. I've become more cynical as I've gotten older, especially about matters of the heart, and I didn't want to write something "fake." I also don't like to not be good at something, and I don't consider myself a particularly good writer.
It took me my creative writing class to realize that my efforts aren't in vain. I write for myself. There's something uniquely empowering about writing the worst garbage in the world as your own means of self-expression. I strongly suggest you try it. I know, it sounds stupid and embarrassing and pointless. But I don't care. You should do it anyway. If you've ever thought, Hey, that would make a really cool book/movie or if you've ever wanted to place yourself in a universe, what's stopping you? Just write it. It doesn't have to be the next great American novel. You don't have to publish it anywhere or even tell anyone that you're writing. That's the beauty of the written word. I decided to start writing my cheesy, insipid love story again precisely because it's not going to happen. I'm breathing life into absolute fantasy. There's such freedom in knowing that the options are boundless.
Go out, buy a fresh notebook, and start to write about anything. You'd be surprised at how much insight it'll provide into your own inner machinations, especially if you have difficulty expressing yourself. Plus, it's fun. There's no satisfaction quite like creating something that's entirely yours.
