I love and adore the town I grew up in...partly nostalgia, partly it was the best small town for my family. You see I have a strong desire to be back in that hometown all the time. It is my second biggest safety net (besides being around my girlfriend). I feel comfort, joy, feelings of happiness.

But I recognize if I was to go back to this small town, one thing wouldn't happen that would need too. I wouldn't grow as a person. Sure I could make small changes to myself, but I am not that little boy that was in that happy little town. My life has had its shares of ups and downs. Many people from that same small town are still there. And though many wont admit this, i am sureot of them still see me as the goofy, silly, not serious about anything, carefree, hormonal, young adult. I cannot tell you how much that idea repulses me. Sometimes at times I feel stuck when my parents still feel like i am 12 years old. Is it because i still like the same things i did then? (a.k.a.- Comics, Star Wars, Jurassic Park). When I feel like I am doing my best to attempt to adult and do productive things and try to be a good, responsible member of society.

You see the small town that I lived in had about five thousand people. It was the county seat of a rural Missouri county and surrounded by towns that numbered in the dozens to few hundreds. Sometimes I looked at it like Mayberry. I knew the police officers, the mayor went to my church, and you were friends with most everyone. Even the town bar had friendly folks inside. The barbershop was on the square close to the post office and library. It almost sounds like a town written by Garrison Keillor. It was in the comfort of this small town where I learned the love of God, that hard work gets you everywhere, that some of the best folks are not the ones with degrees but with tractors and hayforks. It was here that sports ruled over academics in my small high school, and after the Friday night football game there was always an after party and that the simple life was king.

However it was also here where I never ran into someone of a different color, creed or really even religion. This is the bible belt of America and everyone in town (or so it felt) knew if you didn't attend one of the twenty or so churches in town. Introductions to people were hi my name is so and so and i go to such and such church and its nice to meet you...Lost in all that niceness is that you become only comfortable in your own ways of doing things. In all my years of school, I never had a non white person in my class at school. And i felt this was the norm.

Then I moved to California, years later. It was a culture shock. I saw Asians, African-Americans, Hispanics, and Middle-Easterners. I saw people of way different faiths and not everyone agreed with my worldview. I was shocked. "What do you mean you dont believe in God??" "You're a democrat? I dont know if I can like you",

You see my eyes were open to this new world. But my ears were deaf to anyone that believed anything different than I did. Even being in California for a few years I surrounded myself with only people like me (white, nerdy, Christian, fun). I never felt that i was being outwardly closed off to people, because if anyone would ask me to help I would be more than happy to engage in conversation. But I didnt outwardly approach people of different ways of life.

My girlfriend (Bless her, she's the best) opened my eyes to this fact one day, and I have made it my life's goal to then see what I truly believe. To make these beliefs I have my own and not that of my parents or what I was surrounded with.

I have come to realize though that my beliefs are different. I mean no offence to my parents. But its hard to paint this world with brushstrokes when you live in a fine-point box. I don't disagree with my family in fundamental ways, we both care about helping other people, making sure people have access to good healthcare and help when they need it. We just disagree about the how. But in such a polar world. Its okay to love someone and have different views. I am excited to see where my beliefs carry me and what I do. But i know I want to be my own person.

I want to love others, I want others to have rights, access to programs to help them, for genuinely everyone to be cared for. I hope that I show love to all whom I see. This is the 2020 year, it has been a time of great reflection. Let's all take the time to make it a better world for others. I am tired of hearing older people talk down on our generation, lets rise to the challenge, take responsibiliy and do our part to change the world. It starts with each person deciding they want to change. It can be done let me be the showcase for that.