My rapist doesn't know he's a rapist because society makes it okay. The ugly truth of it that's how it is with a lot of predators. Society is big on normalizing sexual abuse and victim blaming. And THAT right there is the prime reason to why so many survivors do not come forward. I use the term SURVIVORS because if you have gone through it YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM, BUT A SURVIVOR. That person took your innocence, but they do not need to take away WHO YOU ARE.
I was five years old when my mothers brother lived downstairs from me. And he would always ask my mom for me to go “hang out" downstairs. Little did she know the things he was doing to me downstairs. He would put on porn for me to watch so that he could do those things to me. Not only would he reinact those scenes, but he would video tape them as well. I was just five years old. I did not ask for it to happen, but it did for a year straight. When did I come forward? When I was 15 years old. What did some of my family members say? They called me a lying spic. They said he did it to me because it happened to him. So, you see what I mean when I say normalizing sexual abuse.
I don't care it is never okay to sexually abuse someone. If it happened to you and YOU make the conscious decision to do it to someone else YOU ARE NOT A SURVIVOR, BUT YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. If someone is drunk guess what? They aren't asking for it. If they can't say no then they sure as hell can't say yes. If she went out in a mini skirt and crop top guess what? She still is not asking for it.
We grow up in a world where a woman is told how to dress and how to act, but when do we start teaching individuals not to rape? When do we as a society realize it is never the survivors fault? When does society stop victim shaming? When does society stop normalizing sexual abuse? When does society start taking accountability for all the survivors? Because they weren't the problem, but YOU are. End the cycle, break the silence, and wake up to the reality of sexual abuse.
