"Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter" these are just a few of the most popular social media platforms; or better known as the way we identify ourselves. Sound crazy? Maybe so, but we all fall victim to the problem subconsciously. You've seen it before, you're meeting someone for the first time and somehow find a way to sneak social media into the conversation. "Follow me on Instagram!" or "Do you have Snapchat?", the fact is that these conversation pieces seem innocent. Yet the truth is, we're sharing our social media usernames so that others can "follow us" and see how wonderful our life is portrayed on Snapchat. Or how strong and admirable our relationship looks on Instagram. If you post a weekly picture with your boyfriend that must mean it's true love; right?

Now my intention here isn't to bad mouth social media completely, or even condescend those who use it. Everyone has their own use for them, and I truly believe it is a helpful outlet for business, artists, distant family and friends keeping in touch, or just plain enjoyment. If you can have these apps on your phone and use them in a healthy way, then good for you! I, however, have not had such a great experience. I made the decision to delete Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter a few months ago and I'm glad that I did. I have, however, decided to keep Facebook as a way to keep in touch with those who matter. But even cutting down to having one form of social media is a big deal for me. I absolutely let it become unhealthy and that's what I'm here to talk about.

I used to check my social media apps at least 20 times a day, switching between each and HOPING that I would gain something from doing so. It becomes an obsession, scrolling through and staring blankly at the screen. The worst thing I found myself doing was posting things when I was feeling lonely, or like I needed some form of attention. I would mostly turn to Instagram, posting a picture and then waiting for the incoming likes and comments. And it felt SO good each time, to get feedback from people who I barely even talk to otherwise. There's always a high when the likes keep coming in.. and then it kinda just stops after a few hours. That's when you're left only with who you are as a person, and I realized that I didn't like it. I wasn't comfortable with who I was without the social media attention, that's when I realized it was a serious problem.

My generation is so bad with making social media a vital part of their identity. So many of us are brave and personable online, yet we lack basic social skills in everyday life. That's because it's been made so easy for us, you can comment on someone's picture and then completely ignore them in person, and this is almost our new normal! The need for face to face human connection is slowly disappearing, and I really don't want to have a part in that future. The thing is that most of the people I used to talk to through social media haven't contacted me since I deleted them. Which makes me feel almost as if all of those connections and conversations were false and, in a sense, almost pointless.

The main reason dating is such a rare thing among my generation is because of these platforms. Tinder and Bumble bring you an easy hookup without really having to try, which could be both good and bad. Cheating is also seen as normal now, and it's so easy to do. You can just message someone through Instagram or Snapchat without your significant other knowing about it. Or that commenting something complimentary (or even slightly nice) on someone's photo is seen as the most romantic gesture. Is this what things have come to? Young girls have set the bar so terribly low for guys because no one really tries much anymore. Whatever happened to asking someone on an actual date, and physically knocking on their front door once you've arrived to pick them up. Rather than texting someone "I'm here, come out". We have officially dumbed down love and relationships in the most toxic way. You may say this is an "old-fashioned" way of thinking, but that's untrue. It's just a normal way of thinking, of how things should be.

Besides dating, one of the bigger problems I've faced was upholding my self-esteem as a young woman on these platforms. There is so much Photoshop and filters on girls' photos now; these are the ones deemed most "beautiful" and "goals". It's extremely easy to make your body or face look model-like in a photo; the recipe? Good lighting and strategic positioning. Our expectations for our bodies and faces are SO bizarre, that we don't focus enough on what's on the inside. So focused on makeup and nice clothes, that we forget to nurture our souls and practice being genuine people. The fact of the matter is, you being beautiful on the outside means nothing if you're not just as beautiful on the inside. Understanding this and putting it into motion has been my biggest struggle. These past few months have been more and more about working on that for me, a "process of growth" if you will. I crave that genuine human connection and working on loving and promoting growth on the inside. I will continue this journey which won't be an easy one, I'm not a perfect person because I decided to give these few things up. But I knew it was something I needed to do for myself to stay healthy mentally.

Overall, this is part of a larger mental health issue. We don't talk about it often, but social media does have a grave effect on our mental health. As someone who has struggled with mental illness, I can confirm that being on these apps could make things worse. Mostly because those who have a mental illness are too scared to talk about it. And the reasoning behind this is that mental illnesses are either glorified and romanticized, which I've mainly seen on Tumblr. Or it's just completely ignored and misunderstood, which can be seen on all social media platforms in one way or another. Today's youth will talk about nonsense on social media, but imagine if we all started talking about stuff that matters. THAT is the type of future I want to be part of, THAT is the type of material I want to see on social media. I am but one person, however, I can begin to do my part by simply talking about it. Spreading the word, and not spending all of my time switching back and forth between apps all day.

The most important thing any of us could do is listen to our body and give it what it needs. If you've made it to the end of this article then maybe that means you're intrigued... Even just a bit. Try it! Delete one social media app for a week, and see the difference in the way you think and feel. Or don't, but keep these things in mind and continue to promote a healthy and productive time on social media!