My best friend and I have gone through symmetrical breakups (if you know us, you know what I mean). So you can bet that when we both finally cut off ties with our ex-boyfriends, I got a text from her saying “You and I, single, at the same time? We’re gonna burn this city down"....and that's exactly what any two best friends do when they happen to be single together.
- You have Tinder dates side by side: best friends who swipe right together, stay together? Whatever, it’s funny when you’re bored.
- You're screaming love songs in the car by Taylor Swift and Sam Smith on a weekly (OK maybe daily) basis because for those ENTIRE three minutes you feel like you're really telling your ex to suck it.
- You find yourself having a threesome with McDonalds a little too often (we’re all about those snack wraps and fries).
- Taking one "hot" picture after another is like pulling teeth: you don't even think about releasing a picture on social media without the other one checking to make sure their tits look big enough or their arm doesn't look like another planet. The only easy part about taking pictures is you both have your go-to side (it's not that hard, one goes on the left and one goes on the right).
- Going to the bar is a game (or maybe a competition): which one will go home with the guy tonight? Who's gonna throw back more shots? Who's gonna make it home without falling in 6-inch wedges?
- Y'all can sleep in each other’s beds without a boy getting in the way of that: more time for "Keeping Up With the Kardashians," "Gossip Girl" (or whatever dumb show y'all shit talk, but truly love).
- Y'all go to their fraternities together and become best friends with all of their brothers, while they shamelessly stare at you and realize they made the biggest mistake of their life.
- A little lie never hurt: you tell each other that tequila is actually really good for you, so that eighth shot is OK, and that you'll go to the gym the next morning to work it off (when that never actually happens).
- You don't have to plan your drunk escapades: you can drive to another university for the weekend to party, bar hop with a group of frat boys and find yourself crashing at the home of a complete stranger.
- Working out is social hour: when you go to the gym together, you can't help but put each other on your snap chat stories so you seem really into your fitness, but honestly guys can’t help but stare when you do squats side by side (knowing you both have a great ass).
- You're without a doubt attached at the hip with your phone: you both take way too many selfies together (or send them to each other), but who GAF? Oh, and every time those f*ck boy ex's send you texts in the middle of the night over, and over, and over and over again, y'all remind each other for the 211th time that you should have their numbers blocked.
- There are no limits: you can walk around (or dance around) each other’s houses in nothing but your underwear and take forever figuring out what you’re going to go out in that night.
Whatever the craziness you two have cooked up, you always know that with the other bitch by your side, you're going to be OK, and better yet, y'all know you can get what you want. Being single is a blessing, a blessing that happens to let you act out in all the ways you secretly want to...go misbehave, because right now, no one is watching.
