Which Is Your Alter Ego?
Start writing a post

Everyone’s been there – the morning after a night out and eating greasy food with your friends as they recount the night’s activities.Unfortunately for you, while they’re giggling you might be experiencing an overwhelming wave of nausea that’s not just from your hangover – it’s from hearing what you did last night. It will probably be things you never dreamed of doing, at least sober, like taking a fraternity composite, icing out your managers while casually stroking their face or casual body shots during happy hour. The late night alter ego is something of true magnificence. Here are a few. 
The Kris Jenner. Like the recently separated multi-millionaire, the Jenner is single, rich (or pretending to be) and thirsty. The Kris Jenner of late night alter egos will be someone you admire for their admitted vanity and ego, yet cringe when you see slow rejection. The Jenner is a persona who’s not afraid to say what s/he thinks and has no shame in their game, or lack thereof. 

The Sad Jack. Usually when people drink, they let their inhibitions go and become happy and relaxed. When you see Sad Jack, you are reminded of a depressed circus clown. You want to love him but he makes you incredibly sad. He may come home from the bar and contemplate life while sitting with a blank stare on the porch steps. He’ll try to cheer everyone up with impressions, back flips and hugs. It won’t work and he’ll end up wandering off to bed like a lifeless zombie.

The Edward Snowden. Like the former CIA agent, the Snowden alter ego has an innate ability to flee the scene without anyone knowing. With his Houdini-like disappearances, the Snowden is as baffled and confused as his friends when they awaken in the morning. He might seek temporary asylum on your couch.You should cut him some slack.

The Jorge (hor -hay).  The Jorge is essentially one of the scariest drunk alter egos you can encounter because if you’re a Jorge, you’re going to wake up on the train tracks one morning wondering how you got there. The Jorge is reminiscent of Charlie Sheen. He’s absolutely crazy. He is going to take and do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, with no concern toward others. Don’t be surprised if he stumbles into his  room at 4 p.m. with a twisted shoulder and no recollection of his Fat sandwich order, let alone the night.

The Mike Tyson: Put away anything you love, because Mike Tyson is out. If it looks like it can be broken, it will be. Pool tables, couches, doors or even bones – it will be broken as the Tyson goes on a rampage of unrequited anger. The Tyson will awaken in the morning and wonder what took the bigger hit: his hands or his wallet.

The Usain Bolt. Want to get to Red Lion faster to cut the line? Run at cheetah-like speed down icy 3rd Street and you’ve found your drunk alter ego. No matter how hard his friends try to stop him, the bolter finds it better to work off additional calories through excessive dangerous sprinting. You won’t get a medal for your efforts, but you will probably wake up with at least 10 bruises and the occasional road rash or sprained ankle. Run on, you courageous being.

Photo courtesy of Next Web Photos -http://www.flickr.com/photos/82298325@N00/2402787815/in/photolist-4EjV78-4EjW5V-4EjWCe-4EpaQs-4Epbey-4Utjih-5pTxyA-5rufzK-66mPUs-6AgwvU-87DYuX-9DMm7s-d4ovX5-9e26xM-anXFoP-8MAZ66-8MB3Lp-8MAZV6-8MB2ND-8MAYrF-8MEmsE-8MEbGA-enWAhi-aCgmpm-8o7PwG-8Hqwxz-7EFCQ6-7EKrHf-7EFCf6-7EFBd8-bgipzT-eeUjYL-eeNArZ-8MEnJG-8MDf41-8MzBJt-8MDntY-8MCWvm-8MDTcL-8MCG71-8MCWBU-8MDVN5-8MDb67-8MzqQD-8MCXpw-8MzwAr-8MAQ9r-8MCWZm-8MDf9w-ezabqe-8Mzz5H

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

74738
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

136606
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments