What Not To Do at a Stoplight | The Odyssey Online
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What Not To Do at a Stoplight

In no less than 800 words.

Chandler Polakov
Aug 17, 2015
Tulane University
1642
What Not To Do at a Stoplight

Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight!


"Gary, are-are you sure you don't want some creme brulée? Or, or some chocolate-flavored algae bits?"

And making a sandwich.


"I can't write on an empty stomach Gary, I gotta have my brain food! Now let's see...White or rye bread...or pumpernickel. Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside... and the cheese..."

And lighting candles.

"Only 799 words to go."

And drinking water.



And calling your friends.


"Marco."

"Polo."

And karate chopping the TV.


And shootin' the breeze with the mailman.

"Rye or Pumpernickel?"

And fallin' asleep.

"Do I dare look at the clock?"

And doing calisthenics.

"Hup ho. Hup ho."

And fantasizing about your driver's license.

"Oh yeah..."

And setting your house on fire.

"SpongeBob, why? Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?! Why didn't you just write your essay?! STOP WASTING TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!"

And cleaning your kitchen.

"I can't work on my essay knowing there's a mess in the kitchen."

And doing the dishes.

And cleaning your garbage.

"Can't have dirty garbage."

And choking on pesky particles.

"What do you mean 'overly dramatic'?"

And dreaming about not finishing your essay on time.


"Time is up SpongeBob."

And talking to the fish newscaster on the news.

"In other news, local resident SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay, and yet he continues to goof off. [head sticks out TV] When will he learn?"

And practicing your calligraphy.


"Ok, Mr. Essay, I say... prepare to be written! [Begins active writing] I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Yeah...yeah...yeah! And some of these, and some of these...Almost there and...done. Now lets see how it looks so far. "The-" "

And getting into heated arguments with your pants from the top of a giant chair.

"Yoo hoo! Down here!"

"You get up here! I've got to get back to work!"

"Freedom!"

And ripping yourself in half.



And using a SpongeBob time card to make it seem like this article is all the author said it would be in the title...


See Mrs. Puff! All 800 words!

Anyway, the moral: Don't procrastinate and get your work done on time! A message I think we all can take to heart.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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