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What Not To Do at a Stoplight

In no less than 800 words.

Chandler Polakov

Aug 17, 2015

Tulane University

1605

Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight!

"Gary, are-are you sure you don't want some creme brulée? Or, or some chocolate-flavored algae bits?"

And making a sandwich.

"I can't write on an empty stomach Gary, I gotta have my brain food! Now let's see...White or rye bread...or pumpernickel. Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside... and the cheese..."

And lighting candles.

"Only 799 words to go."

And drinking water.

And calling your friends.

"Marco."

"Polo."

And karate chopping the TV.

And shootin' the breeze with the mailman.

"Rye or Pumpernickel?"

And fallin' asleep.

"Do I dare look at the clock?"

And doing calisthenics.

"Hup ho. Hup ho."

And fantasizing about your driver's license.

"Oh yeah..."

And setting your house on fire.

"SpongeBob, why? Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?! Why didn't you just write your essay?! STOP WASTING TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!"

And cleaning your kitchen.

"I can't work on my essay knowing there's a mess in the kitchen."

And doing the dishes.

And cleaning your garbage.

"Can't have dirty garbage."

And choking on pesky particles.

"What do you mean 'overly dramatic'?"

And dreaming about not finishing your essay on time.

"Time is up SpongeBob."

And talking to the fish newscaster on the news.

"In other news, local resident SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay, and yet he continues to goof off. [head sticks out TV] When will he learn?"

And practicing your calligraphy.

"Ok, Mr. Essay, I say... prepare to be written! [Begins active writing] I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Yeah...yeah...yeah! And some of these, and some of these...Almost there and...done. Now lets see how it looks so far. "The-" "

And getting into heated arguments with your pants from the top of a giant chair.

"Yoo hoo! Down here!"

"You get up here! I've got to get back to work!"

"Freedom!"

And ripping yourself in half.

And using a SpongeBob time card to make it seem like this article is all the author said it would be in the title...

See Mrs. Puff! All 800 words!

Anyway, the moral: Don't procrastinate and get your work done on time! A message I think we all can take to heart.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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What Not To Do at a Stoplight

In no less than 800 words.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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