I'll admit it — I've been guilty of it, myself. I have found myself bitter when others do not live up to expectations. And why? I think somewhere, along the way, I bought into the lies that are constantly buzzing all around us — that we each have an "other half" somewhere out there. And boom, once this flawless individual is mine, my once empty life will suddenly be brighter and fuller. Because (s)he exists to bring me happiness. Little by little through music and personal experiences, I have become aware of these underlying thoughts and how they have been clouding my perception of the essence and purpose of genuine love. Furthermore, I have found that my past relationships dwindled for a reason — my former approach to "love" was not one that fosters lasting and healthy relationships.

Here are five gems that led me to this wake up call, and I hope you will get as much out of them as I have:

1. The Nicest Thing by Kate Nash

Ah, the shallowest level of all... It took me a long time to fully understand just how appalling these lyrics are because it can be so easy to think and feel this way.

I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world... I wish that you knew when I said "two sugars," actually, I meant three.
I wish that without me, your heart would break. I wish that without me, you'd spend the rest of your nights awake. I wish that without me, you couldn't eat...

This is a song about a girl who is completely infatuated with someone, and she blatantly describes the various ways in which she wishes he would idolize her. She wants to be the center of his life. She wants him to be able to read her mind. She wants him to be miserable in her absence. Never once does it directly say how she cares for him beyond, "You're the nicest thing I've seen." Never once does it mention what she wants to do for him in her love. Never once does it mention a desire for his happiness. This is the kind of "love" that is rooted in living like you are the protagonist in the world's only book. This is the kind of "love" that creates dejected singles. This is the kind of "love" that causes breakups, which end in bitterness and withered self-esteem.

2. Love of Mine by Nickel Creek

Note: Before you listen to this one, bear in mind that the "love of mine," that he addresses in the second person is the feeling of love.

His actual "lover" is mentioned in the third person, for she is simply the girl that allows him to experience it.

Love of mine, when you're born I tell myself that you'll never die
And I throw my arms around the girl who finds you
'Cause the world is rosier, through your eyes
I don't suppose you caught her name...
Never mind, I'll just name her after you, love of mine
I'll fashion her into a sweet long legged icon making all praise holier, satisfied.
Oh, but she gave us to each other
The only thing she's done for me that you could never do
For that she'll always be remembered
After she discovers I don't love her half as much as you
Love of mine, when she goes why can't you stay
Here with me.
Love of mine, when you die I tell myself that you'll never live
Even as I curse the girl who says she'll find someone worthier of the gift
Someone who wants to share it with her
Far away from those who take you, to have and to hold
Now I'm stuck here trying to not remember
For all these pretty words, it wasn't her but love that I adored.

This song is truly a masterpiece. Nonetheless, though it is well-written, its message is evocatively cruel. It is about craving the bliss of romance and taking advantage of someone, as if (s)he is your means to gain it. It does not revolve around appreciating the uniqueness of the person you attach these feelings to as much as it about adoring love-sickness itself. Emotions change with the seasons. The lesson from this is that eros is not strong enough of a foundation for a lasting relationship.

3. I Choose You by Sara Bareilles

True love is a decision to remain devoted to another person, to share in all of life's highs, lows, sorrows and joys together. True love acknowledges that at times, things will be difficult, and you and your partner will fail to be the best versions of yourselves, but your choice to love him/her will endure any challenges. This song illustrates all of these points beautifully.

4. Piece By Piece by Kelly Clarkson

Lastly, there is unconditional love — the deepest of all. It is loving another person regardless of qualifications, and seeking to make his/her needs and well-being a priority over your own, without expecting anything in return. This artist has seen both kinds of love — love with one's self as a priority versus love that is rooted in serving others' well-being. While she clearly was deeply hurt by her father's abandonment, it is evident that she is dedicated to being a better parent than he was to her. She and her husband genuinely desire that their daughter will be raised knowing her worth and that she is cherished simply for who she is — not what she does, or her impressive qualities. Even when it is troubling, inconvenient or it seems like "something better presents itself," they will stay with their child throughout her life, showing that their love for her is something that is constant, not something that is earned.

Which brings us to our last song, which probably sums up what kind of love Clarkson and her husband strive to show their daughter. I was actually on an airplane the first time I listened to this song, and it brought me to tears. Not the little tears that kind of trickle down your cheeks, but the "ugly cry" kind of tears. I was a basket case... for I have been blessed enough to have been raised by a father who showed me this kind of love throughout my lifetime, through not only his words, but his actions, and this reminder of his care for me was moving.

5. Imaginary Tea

I love you more than you will ever know
I love you no matter what you do
I’m gonna hold you as long as you will let me
‘Cause you’re mine, I love you
I loved you before I heard ever heard your voice
Before I even knew your name
I loved you before I saw those pretty eyes
I loved you right away
So take it slow
Before you know it, you’ll be old and grown
Just remember that I’m always here
Hands you can hold on to
I love you
Don’t worry what anybody else will say
Don’t hurry to break that precious heart
When you try to be like somebody else
Remember I love you the way you are
So let’s climb every tree
And drink imaginary tea
And speak a language only we can understand
And I will fight back the tears
As we fly through the years
And I’ll keep you as close as I can

In conclusion, these songs inspire me to search my heart, and strive to live out this love in all of my relationships.