I remember when I was in the eighth grade, I was so excited to get my first Facebook account. The anticipation of logging into my account seeing new friend requests made me feel gleeful and special. Over time, I have developed an eagerness to make more friends and show myself off on social media. Portraying myself as a model was essential, coming up with a clever caption would elevate my status, and posting it at the right time meant how much I cared for others to see my post. Every detail counted.

I eventually developed a sort of ideal; when I saw how happy people appeared in their pictures, I thought that I needed to be that way too. Sometimes I felt envious of them and I craved to have the same sort of happiness.

Of course, at the time, I was not seeking validation from my family. I knew they would always love me and be there for me. What I really wanted was to be my own person and form a group. In a way, I wanted to prove myself to others that I could change as a person.

However, I found out how empty it can be to appear to be happy all the time. Now that I am an adult, I feel the need to express my true feelings and not appear happy all the time. I believe that happiness should come in waves, and not be a permanent state.

Every day I go on social media and I see the perfect pictures of people living their best lives with their friends, family, lovers, and at their travels. I often wonder if they really are living their best lives constantly or have overcome an ordeal that they do not reveal to the public eye.

Of course, there are people who constantly lament on social media; they use it as a way to get a lending ear or use it as a sort of catharsis. I have been guilty of lamenting a couple of times on social media, but I did stop. I rather cry or talk to someone in person about my troubles; it's healthier that way. It's also preventing any permanent things I may say on social media (whatever is put on social media/internet, stays there, so be careful!!!).

At the end of the day, people want to use social media to have a good time and get their minds off things. Living in reality or in the moment can be overbearing; social media serves to distract people. I for one hate looking back in the past, my mind constantly thinking into the future and what may happen next. Being in social media now makes me anxious and I get a little crabby when I am on it for too long.

I feel like I should use social media to share what is special to me. Despite how I may not always like to think about the past, I am coming to terms with how I want to live in the present moment instead of always thinking about the future. Documenting a special moment in my life is important and I don't want to forget the details of that day. By living in the present moment, I do not have to worry about being perfect or ideal, I can just think about whatever comes to my head and not think too hard.

Overall, I want to use social media for monumental moments in my life and to express my true feelings. I am not always happy or successful, but I am a straightforward person that stays true to my feelings and to others. Nothing has to be perfect and I am happy to live my life without worrying about what I need to do next.