I am not a confident person. Never have been. I'm really insecure. I don't know where it stems from. Maybe from me being bullied in my past. I don't know really. I've never been that type of person who could openly talk about their feelings. I bottle them up inside and never speak about them until I explode or get even more upset. I've never been the type of person to tell a guy how I felt about them. Nope. Never. I work up the courage and then I chicken out. I'm not even confident enough to talk to random people to make friends. I'm too shy. I think it all comes down to my insecurities.
I don't really know where it comes from. I've been hurt so much from people who say they care about me. I've always felt that I wasn' good enough. Or I wasn't pretty enough. And I don't just say it so I can get attention. I genuinely feel this way. Sometimes I feel insignificant. It's something I have to learn to deal with it. I won't say I'll have to learn to get over it. I'll probably won't ever get over it. I don't want to anyway. My insecurities. My shyness. My non-confidence. It's all a part of me. It makes me who I am. Do I like that sometimes I think the worst of myself? No. But I wouldn't change myself one bit. I wish I was a confident person. But I can't change who I am. I love who I am. And eventually, I'll love myself completely. It's going to take me some time. I know that. I just can't rush it.