How To Tame Your Inner Cougar
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How To Tame Your Inner Cougar

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How To Tame Your Inner Cougar

Girls, another frat rush is approaching. Here are some guidelines to follow in order to avoid the, oh, so tempting "cougar" stereotype.

Here they come. Still perfectly toned from their everyday lacrosse practices. Stomachs still behind their needlepoint belts because they haven’t quite learned the art and effects of shot-gunning, Edward forty hands, or Commons breakfast on the weekends.

For the fellow lady potential new members, these guys are old news. As for any upperclassmen, this is about as beautiful of a sight as when Zac Efron got his shirt ripped off at the VMAs. But ladies, simmer down and tuck those paws away for a minute. Pouncing may be the first thing that comes to mind, but a fair warning to all: these cubs come with a price you can prevent paying.     

Think about the future. These boys haven’t even started their gen-eds, yet. They may talk the, “I’m pre-med,” talk, but until they’ve taken a few bio and chem courses, I don’t want to hear anything about what kind of doctor they’re going to be. In other words, your Lilly apron and country club membership are quite a long ways away.

How do the dorms sound, again? That’s right. Tired of your same apartment scenery? Well, unless you’re willing to spend an evening at their fraternity’s party house, it’s back to the tower of terror you go. The cubs have no idea what it’s like to deal with Wildcat Reality or the infamous contracts for an apartment off of South Broadway. As for picking your boy up on the weekend nights, prepare for a sea of girls to jump your car before realizing you’re not Evan from the call list.

Avoid the frat parties. The playground of all playgrounds for the new cubs. No, this is not a pregame for the bars. Keep in mind that this house filled with everything but a decent roll of toilet paper and a soap dispenser is where you will be spending weekend after weekend night along side of your cub, who got his fake taken away the first weekend of school.     

It is now mid-August and your little has begged you to go with her and her rush crush to one last frat party. Reluctantly, you agree and have found yourself purring over one of the frat rushees. If you can’t remember anything I said above due to the hooch making its move, then good luck and may he actually just be a transfer student. 

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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