1. "Don't they realize that an iPhone is so much easier to use?"

2. "How can someone brag about a phone that costs more than an iPhone but isn't an iPhone?"

3. "You can tell me how great your phone is all you want, I'll never switch."

4. "Yeah, I'll admit that's a cool feature, but not as cool as Animoji."

5. "Green text bubbles are the worst."

6. "Am I willing to not date someone with an Android?"

7. "Yes, absolutely."

8. "How can people live with distorted emojis?"

9. "And you can't name group chats!"

10. "How do you differentiate from them?"

11. "Are you really going to use GroupMe for group chats for the rest of your life?"

12. "And you need to download a completely diffferent app to see your friends' locations?" 

13. "iPhone users have that built in!"

14. "How do you live with your apps all over the place?"

15. "We like them organized in four neat columns."

16. "Sure, you pay for the Apple brand, but the products are just as great."

17. "OK, Google? WHO?"

18. "Hey, Siri, all the way!"

19. "You'll never understand the blessing of Apple Music."

20. "How am I supposed to FaceTime with them?!"

21. "I don't think I could ever downgrade to an Android."

22. "Not after having an iPhone for years."

23. "I don't understand people who do that."

24. "iPhones are just so much easier to use."

25. "There's only one button!"

26. And Apple's making it even easier by eliminating that."

27. "Not having iMessage is tragic."

28. "Don't act like Google has better privacy settings than Apple."

29. "You know it's a lie."

30. "Oh, you want to talk about updates?"

31. "Apple really goes above and beyond with their updates, they're timely and frequent."

32. "Yeah, yeah, you think your phone is amazing."

33. "Just not as amazing as my rose gold, 256 GB, iPhone 8 plus."