This Is What True Heartbreak Is Like
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This Is What True Heartbreak Is Like

If you've never experienced it, you'll feel like you have after reading this.

This Is What True Heartbreak Is Like

I have found a way to get over you. Despite the signs God has so gently revealed to me about the familiar arms that I belong in, I did find away to move on. I have found myself. I have taken far too much excruciating time digging up my demons and coming to terms with my weaknesses, where I went wrong and how I need to change. I have uncovered my strengths that never wanted to reveal themselves while you were still mine. I have spent countless hours on my knees begging for forgiveness and thanking God for the opportunity He gave me to love you. I have learned so much about life. I know the breakup was necessary for me to find myself, to learn to love myself, and to be able to grow as an individual.

In this moment, I know God is teaching me humility, gratefulness, compassion, love, appreciation and faithfulness. I know you are growing right now too. I have been able to grow closer to God through the difficulty of our separation because I was so damn broken that the only thing that could possibly save me was Him. So many incredible opportunities have come to me. I've been so positive about it all because I trust in Gods plan and His timing, but I have to be honest..

Some days it's really hard. And my selfish longing for you overcomes me. So I unbury you from beneath the years of memories, the sweet nostalgia consumes me. I threw away the heartache long ago, so that if ever I found myself in a dark place like this, I could uncover you from the depths, buried in debris of my chaotic mind, and I could find happiness in the memories and, for just a short time, I would feel no brokenness from the mess you left behind. Sure, we hurt each other, but we loved each other more. That counted for something to me. In fact, it counted for a whole lot. In these moments I like to forget that she is in your arms now. It makes the memories of us so much sweeter that way. I flirt with the idea that you might still dream of me too because to come to terms with reality would just simply be too difficult for now. Not when I'm in these moments where I find myself tangled in the memories. They surround me and hold me tightly in a comforting way. Comforting like how your arms used to keep me warm, drawing me nearer to your heart with every passing moment. I reminisce on the random moments where the Holy Spirit made me feel so much that it moved me to tears simply because I was yours. My moments, I called them. I always knew it was God speaking in the silence. We may or may not ever find our way back to one another, but for now, I find peace in knowing that feeling I experienced in "my moments" is possible.

I never knew how much I could feel until God showed me what kind of love I was capable of. He showed me through you. I'm grateful, but is it selfish to ask for more? More time together? More courage to tell you how I feel? One more chance? I trust that what He has revealed to me will occur in His timing, I just pray I'm ready to accept it when the time comes. And until that day, I will tuck you away in the deep crevices of my memories like how I used to tuck you in beside me each summer night. I'll safely protect you the way I used to protect our future. I promise to only take you back out in the moments where the pain is just simply unbearable and I need a moment to remember what true love feels like just one more time. And of course, I'll pray vigorously for you until the day that old bracelet you got me finds its way back onto my wrist. Until that day, I will be strong.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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