There's really nothing like a good old fashioned scapegoat when you're stuck in an awkward/unfavorable situation and you really just need someone to get you out of it. That's what best friends are for. These are some prime texts that your best-friend might send you if you're caught in a weird situation and you GOTTA BLAST!
"hey i'm really sick can you come home"
Ahhh. The ole' "I'm sick I need you to come home" text works like a charm every time. When you're caught in an awkward situation and your best friend texts you a fake excuse, this one will surely do it. No one wants to imagine barf, germs, and blood, and- yeah, you get it. Gross. (They'll probably think so too)
"you haven't fed Max today and he won't stop barking"
I just laughed as I typed this one out because as stupid as this seems, I've used it before. And my friend didn't even have a dog named Max. But, what the other person doesn't know won't hurt them. You can interchange the name or animal of this one and it won't make much of a difference, it all works the same. A fake cat or dog to take the cake is a pretty good way to skrrt skrrt before you get hrt hrt. Or even a pet fish if you're feeling extra bold. "You haven't changed Nemo's water bowl today and he's swimming in his own feces please come home." Classic.
"omg someone just broke in our door room you have to come home"
Faking a robbery via dorm room might not be the best way to get your friend out of an uncomfy situation, but hey, it works. You gotta do what you gotta do I guess. This is slightly awful but also completely hilarious because it's REAL. Like, my friend has done this before. Don't even ask me how this was thought up, just know it happened. Awkward situation with a boy comes along and next thing you know, your dorm room is being robbed (not really) but yeah. This one is a bit extreme, but it works ladies.
"me and ____ just broke up i need you"
The fake-boyfriend breakup text is the perfect opportunity to slide your way out the door. Boys will never argue this one. Why? Mainly because as soon as you mention female emotions, they will run in the opposite direction. Not really, but more than likely they won't ask any questions. Simply because they don't want the drama. Trust me, if you play if off like your best friend is a mess, he won't want to help pick up the pieces. Most boys will run far from any type of feeling, while you {physically run} and do the same, but just out the door.
Girls - 1, Boys - 0. We're just so much smarter than you think ;)
"i can't believe you did this. we need to talk, NOW."
Your best-friend pretending to be mad at you in order to help you leave a situation is slightly psychotic but also brilliant. The fake "panic" will set in, you'll frantically rush to leave, and the person with you will probably not stop you from doing so. Boom. Freedom. Yes, we girls are the most extra humans on this planet. But honestly, we're the most innovative, too. Obviously.
