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Things You Know If Either Of Your Parents Have A Boyfriend/Girlfriend

It's not personal.

Morgan Simmonds

Jun 25, 2019

College of Charleston

268

Things You Know If Either Of Your Parents Have A Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

I may be writing this article out of spite on an especially angry Tuesday night after I ditched a dinner with a parent and their current date. But the dramatics does NOT invalidate my points. Either you understand, or you don't. It has nothing to do with the people involved, this is just how it goes. Sorry!

They are ALWAYS at your house

Where am I supposed to go?!

You always want to ignore the bf/gf, but it's incredibly awkward

For the love of God, please let me walk through the kitchen without having to engage in small talk.

Part two of #2: They try to make weird small talk with you

No, I don't want to talk about how that event I had a few weeks ago went (AGAIN!).

If they annoy you, get over it!

Your parent is "an adult, and allowed to make their own decisions and hang out with who they want". Okayyyy.

Your parent will cook whatever their bf/gf wants

This leads to me finding strange ingredients in the fridge that is not on our normal shopping list. And yes it looks delicious, but no, I will not be joining you. Why don't you make these types of dinners for us?

Your parent will watch whatever TV show their bf/gf likes (so the living room tv is now useless)

Come on, I know, you know, that you don't really enjoy watching America's Got Talent. You hate cheesey TV game shows!

If you used to hang out with that parent, find a new friend

The boyfriend/girlfriend is the new obsession... yikes.

Maybe you can only relate to a few of these things, but thanks for taking the time to share some of my frustration and annoyance about parents and their post-divorce significant others.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Things You Know If Either Of Your Parents Have A Boyfriend/Girlfriend

It's not personal.

In This Article:

They are ALWAYS at your house

You always want to ignore the bf/gf, but it's incredibly awkward

Part two of #2: They try to make weird small talk with you

If they annoy you, get over it!

Your parent will cook whatever their bf/gf wants

Your parent will watch whatever TV show their bf/gf likes (so the living room tv is now useless)

If you used to hang out with that parent, find a new friend

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!