I honestly thought I would marry the boy I spent most of my high school years with. I guess most girls think that, though. But, boy, am I glad I didn’t. I mean, yeah, the break up sucked and sometimes it still stings a little to think about it, but hindsight is 20/20. I am so thankful you broke up with me on my 18th birthday. At the time, I was nothing but mad and upset. I eventually got over the anger and I realized that you leaving me was the best birthday present I have ever received from you. This letter is to you.
I gave you two and a half years of my life and you had the audacity to leave me the day of my birthday. Over a text, might I add. You told me to make other plans because you weren't coming to see me anymore. You ended the conversation with "Happy birthday, by the way." How could you have done that to me? I thought that everyone would think less of me because my boyfriend left me on a special day like that. Now that it’s almost been a year, I have realized that no one thought any less of me, they thought less of you for treating me the way you did. It also came to my attention how many of my friends always thought I deserved more than you from the beginning. I did and I still do.
In those few years we shared, I was so caught up in you that I didn’t notice how much my self esteem had declined because of the way you passively treated me. I didn’t notice how much of myself I lost while I was trying to be someone you wanted me to be. Looking back, I see now how many times I should’ve left you and never looked back.
My Nana told you several times that I was used to getting what I wanted and if you didn’t want to give it to me, someone else would be glad to do that for me. You laughed, but she was serious. You had me believing that I didn’t deserve those things and no one else besides you would “put up with me.” If you were ever wrong about anything, it was about that. I never knew how many men were looking for someone like me or what it was like to be truly valued by someone until you let me go.
It took me months to heal, but here I am. There’s a few things I’d like to thank you for, too. I want to thank you for sending me that text at 12:18 AM the day of my birthday and leaving me stunned at that Waffle House table. I want to thank you for telling me I would never amount to anything when we both know that’s not true. I want to thank you for not liking my family and ignoring my phone calls when you didn’t show up for church. I want to thank you for the best birthday present I didn’t ever know I needed.
I bet you're wondering why I thanked you for those things. I thank you for all of those things because now I remember that my self worth comes from what God thinks of me, not some boy. I'm no longer lacking in self esteem. I am more confident in myself now than I was before I dated you. I know that I deserve a boy that gets along with my family and wants to spend Sundays with me. I know that I deserve to be treated how my parents raised me to be treated and I know I’m better than all the things you said to me. It took me a long time to stop loving you even though you did what you did, but I don't love you anymore.
Because of you, I know exactly what I don’t want in a significant other and I’m not willing to compromise it again.
I can’t thank you enough for breaking up with me. I’ve been reaping the benefits ever since.
